Last weekend, I took my eldest daughter, Emma, on a camping trip, part of an annual father-daughter campout organized by our local church. It was just the two of us, as my younger daughter is only 3 and, quite frankly, the chaos of camping with a toddler is best left to imagination.
Emma is 8 years old, with her brown hair styled in adorable bangs and a penchant for colorful leggings. This was our fourth year participating in this overnight adventure, and we’ve established a delightful tradition. We stop for McDonald’s on the way, have a mini dance party in the car, and read stories in the tent before settling down for the night. I’m not entirely sure how these rituals began, but during our drive, Emma turned to me and asked, “Daddy, will you always take me camping?”
Here’s the truth: I’m not particularly fond of camping. In my 20s, I enjoyed backpacking, but now, as a father of three with a full-time job, the idea of sacrificing a night of comfortable sleep for the sake of sleeping on the cold, hard ground doesn’t appeal to me. Even with an air mattress, a good night’s sleep is hard to come by in the great outdoors. However, I understand the importance of spending quality time with my daughter, and these one-night camping trips provide an incredible opportunity for connection.
As we drove, Emma excitedly shared her thoughts about gymnastics, describing the pommel horse (which she amusingly referred to as the hobby horse), her favorite springboard, and recounting her tumbles from the bar. She talked about school, her love for Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony, and her disdain for math, albeit with the understanding that it’s a necessary part of life. I listened intently, occasionally asking questions or offering a bit of guidance, all while cherishing the happiness she brings to my life.
Our time together often takes on this form, but it doesn’t always need to be a grand affair. Sometimes we simply lounge on the couch at home, watching her favorite cartoons, or we grab ice cream and she recounts amusing stories from school. I make it a priority to ensure she knows her thoughts and opinions are significant. While her current interests may seem trivial, I recognize that this foundation will be crucial as she grows older. I want her to feel empowered to express herself, regardless of the audience, and I strive to validate her feelings and passions.
Moreover, I aim to foster a strong bond with Emma, ensuring she views me as a confidant rather than someone to fear or resent as she enters her teenage years. I want her to see me not as an authoritarian figure but as a loving father, whose rules stem from care and respect.
I often wonder if my aspirations for our relationship are too ambitious. Having never been a little girl and with limited experience with my own father, I sometimes feel uncertain. However, I believe that all fathers hope for the best for their daughters, and investing time in listening, guiding, and making them feel valued is essential for cultivating a healthy father-daughter relationship in the future.
As we continued our drive, Emma looked back at me, waiting for my response to her camping question. I contemplated my aversion to camping, then focused on my hopes for our relationship and her future. “I will take you camping for as many years as you will let me,” I promised. Her gap-toothed smile lit up the car, and with a giggle, we cranked up the music, returning to our little dance party.
Camping may not be my favorite activity, but there’s no one I’d rather share these moments with than my daughter.
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