First off, let me express my deep frustration with colic. Seriously, I needed to clear that off my chest before diving into the serious stuff. To all the parents battling through colic, I see you, I respect your struggle, and I understand how tough this phase of early parenthood can be—I’m right there with you.
My precious daughter, a true blessing, is now 14 weeks old. With her wild strawberry-blond hair, chubby cheeks, and an uncanny ability to cry for hours on end every night, it feels like a never-ending battle. We’ve visited the doctor multiple times, and we’ve tried everything—Zantac, gas drops, soy formula, various colic-friendly bottles, and daily doses of probiotics. Yet, nothing seems to calm her during those witching hours.
And before you ask, yes, we have a Rock ‘n Play, two swings, a vibrating bouncer, a vibrating crib mattress, a music-filled play mat, and three different baby wraps. My first child had a couple of simple infant gadgets, but this little one? She has the works! If anyone ever marketed a colic solution, I guarantee we ordered it via Amazon Prime in our frantic attempts to find relief between 5 and 7 p.m.
Watching your baby cry for hours is a draining, challenging experience. Eventually, you push your pediatrician to use the term “colic,” and you realize it’s time to stop trying to “fix” your baby and just ride it out with her. You let go of the constant bottle brand switches and stop Googling “what’s wrong with my baby,” accepting that, despite the cries, she is healthy, growing, and just going through a phase. It will pass.
But until then, the weight of colic mom guilt can be overwhelming. You start questioning whether you’ve expressed enough love to your baby. Conversations in the house fade away as the cries drown out any communication, but did you also stop nuzzling that little red face and whispering “I love you”?
There’s a nagging feeling that perhaps you haven’t done enough to soothe her, to provide comfort. As her mother, shouldn’t you be able to calm her restless spirit? You hope she doesn’t sense your relief when you finally place her down for the night or your dismay when she wakes too soon from a nap.
You may even start to resent colic for the moments it steals from you. Unlike other moms, you miss out on those adorable gummy smiles, and it feels like it will be forever until your baby giggles or coos. Plus, you find it hard to spend quality time with your other children because the incessant crying consumes your every waking moment.
Most of the time, you catch yourself wishing the hours away. You long for bedtime, for your partner to return home, or for that magical hour when a glass of wine becomes appropriate. You find yourself wishing away moments that, as parents, we are told we should cherish. Isn’t it repeatedly emphasized that we should enjoy every second? That one day, we’ll yearn to go back to these times?
Well, I won’t be tossing coins into that fountain. And I refuse to let the burden of a colicky baby weigh me down with guilt either. Instead, I remind myself that I’m doing my best to survive this challenging chapter. We’re managing to stay fed and clothed, even if we lean on takeout more than any family should. I continue to hold and love my children, even if I have to wear noise-canceling headphones to do it.
While I won’t be longing for these long days to return, I find comfort in knowing that one day, I’ll be able to use this experience to remind my adult daughter of the love I had for her, especially when she’s contemplating my future living arrangements.
For now, you can find me with my baby in one arm, a glass of wine in the other, and a good pair of earplugs firmly in place. If you’re navigating similar struggles, check out this resource from WebMD for more insights into pregnancy and home insemination, and don’t forget to explore this post on artificial insemination kits for additional support.
In summary, parenting through colic is tough, filled with moments of guilt and frustration. However, it’s essential to remember that you’re doing your best and that this challenging phase will eventually pass.