Having my first child a decade ago opened the floodgates to a world filled with critical co-workers who seem to think they have all the answers. You know the type—the colleague who asks how your little one is doing and then gives you that condescending look that says, “You’re clearly clueless.” It’s almost always followed by unsolicited advice about how they mastered everything from potty training to bedtime routines while you’re clearly floundering.
The judgments rarely touch on major issues. Instead, they focus on trivial matters like when to ditch the pacifier or how many times your child should be sleeping through the night. When you excitedly share a funny picture of your child, there’s that one person who chimes in with a comment about the messy background, “I cannot deal with clutter like that. It gives me anxiety just looking at it.”
What I can’t comprehend is how some parents equate their child’s achievements—like mastering the toilet or bike riding—with their own worth as a parent. Why is it acceptable for someone at work to criticize another parent for not pumping breast milk or for pumping too much? It’s an endless cycle of judgment that adds to the already heavy load of being a working parent.
Let’s face it: juggling work responsibilities and parenting is no walk in the park. Many of us leave the house before our kids wake up and return home just in time for bedtime stories. The constant push and pull between work obligations and parenting duties feels like an ongoing tug-of-war. And then there’s always that one judgy co-worker—sometimes a parent, sometimes not—who makes you question your own parenting skills.
What’s troubling is that I doubt many of these judgmental parents realize the impact of their words. Some may believe they’re offering well-meaning advice, while others might unconsciously project their insecurities onto others. So if you find yourself giving unsolicited parenting tips or making snarky comments in the break room, take a moment to reflect. You might just be contributing to the negative vibe.
Let’s be clear: parenting is the toughest job I’ve ever had—harder than college, tougher than any job I’ve held. Balancing the responsibilities of providing for my children while being an active, caring parent is a monumental challenge. The last thing any of us needs is a co-worker undermining our confidence with their self-righteous attitude.
We are all part of a community. It’s imperative that we lift each other up, not just for our own peace of mind but for the well-being of our children. I want to return home each day feeling assured that I know my children well enough to guide them on the right path. Having co-workers belittle me for inconsequential matters doesn’t help anyone.
So, if you’re that judgmental person, I urge you to reconsider your approach. Reflect on how you interact with your colleagues. Are you offering support, or are you perpetuating negativity? If it’s the latter, it’s time for a change. Because the truth is, no parent needs your harsh words; we’re all struggling enough as it is.
And if you can’t manage to offer kindness, maybe it’s best to keep your thoughts to yourself. Please, we’re asking you.
In summary, being a working parent is incredibly challenging. The last thing we need is judgment from others. Let’s create a supportive environment where we can all thrive. For more insights on parenting, check out this excellent resource on artificial insemination, a topic that often intersects with family planning.