Parenting
Jessica from Ohio asks:
How can I articulate the distinction between a stay-at-home mom and a work-from-home mom like myself? I often find myself clarifying to friends and family that I can’t just drop everything and spend the day at the zoo. No, I can’t just hire a babysitter to sip margaritas during lunch. And then comes the dreaded question: “What do you actually do all day?” Um, EVERYTHING?! Including changing diapers while tackling invoices.
Dear Jessica,
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I spent several years as a stay-at-home mom (SAHM), and let me tell you, that role is downright demanding. It’s an incredibly tough gig. Sure, we adore our children, but the relentless talking, whining, diaper changes, feeding, and keeping them from snacking on questionable substances can be overwhelming and downright stressful—mentally, physically, and emotionally. For me, it was equally rewarding and exhausting.
Typically, SAHMs have playgroups or other stay-at-home mom friends to connect with. They can plan outings like picnics or trips to the park, and often have the freedom to structure their days however they see fit, right?
Let me be clear: SAHMs are true warriors, and I know that not every outing with their kids is a flawless, Instagram-worthy moment. Plus, finding like-minded mothers to socialize with can be a challenge, which sometimes leads to situations where you end up with people you don’t really connect with—just to get out of the house. Of course, staying home can lead to feelings of isolation, opening up a whole other set of complex issues.
However, SAHMs are not tied down by bosses, deadlines, or the pressure of work responsibilities. They don’t typically have to juggle urgent emails or presentations alongside their children’s demands.
As a work-from-home mom, you’re in a constant balancing act—entertaining one child while coaxing another to eat their veggies, all while fielding requests from yet another child who’s yelling from the bathroom about their artistic endeavors using toilet paper. And let’s not forget the time you spend searching for your glasses (which are perched on your head) just to see your computer screen clearly enough to tackle the never-ending pile of invoices due by 2 p.m.
I’m exhausted just recounting that!
It’s no wonder you feel frustrated and overwhelmed when others don’t recognize the two distinct roles you manage under one roof.
Here’s what Emma Miller would suggest:
First, understand that people value your company and want to include you. Try to appreciate that, even if your first instinct is to shout, “I’m working here!” into the phone.
You might say something like, “I truly appreciate your invitation to the trampoline park or your offer to grab drinks during the day, but I have bills to pay and kids who need to eat. I’ll have to decline for now. Maybe we can catch up on a weekend when I’m not juggling work and motherhood?”
If they persist, respond with, “Absolutely! I’d love to come over with my kids. They can play while you help keep them entertained. I’ll bring my laptop and find a quiet corner so I can get these emails and reports done. Thank you for recognizing how challenging it is to navigate these two roles!”
I’m cheering for you! Let me know how things go.
For more insights into parenthood and balancing life, check out this article on boosting fertility with supplements. Additionally, if you’re looking for resources on pregnancy, visit CDC’s pregnancy page for excellent information.
In summary, balancing work and motherhood is a challenge that requires communication and understanding from those around you. It’s important to assert your needs while also recognizing the social nature of friendships.