Children can be cruel. This is not just a rumor.
Throughout history, we’ve witnessed the antics of kids who bully, from the classic wedgie to the infamous dumpster incidents, and the tears shed on playgrounds due to the actions of mean-spirited peers. It seems that, for some reason, humans have an inclination to inflict pain on one another. They gossip, quarrel, and bully, and unfortunately, this behavior often carries into adulthood. Some of the most unpleasant characters at the playground can be found sipping coffee in their trendy outfits.
As parents, we certainly don’t aspire to raise bullies. None of us bring a child into the world hoping they’ll become a self-serving little tyrant. We strive to teach them the golden rule, instilling values that discourage gossip and conflict, and showing them that their actions have consequences for others. But what about the subtler forms of exclusion? The silent pain caused by inaction? If you’ve ever been shunned by a clique at the park, you know that being excluded can sting just as much as being bullied.
That’s why it’s crucial for us as parents to go beyond just preventing bullying; we need to actively cultivate inclusivity. Look around at today’s society: bullies aren’t hiding anymore; they flaunt their negativity openly. From playgrounds to college campuses—and even in our political landscape—there is a glaring lack of compassion and kindness. I want my children to defy this trend. But how can we combat the natural human tendency to exclude? How do we instill in our children the values of inclusivity that our world so desperately craves?
First and foremost, we must model inclusive behavior ourselves.
- Lead by Example
“Do as I say, not as I do” won’t cut it here. If you openly mock others in front of your kids, they’re watching and learning. When parents express disdain for racial, religious, or personal differences at home, kids will replicate that behavior outside. We must engage our children in age-appropriate discussions about societal issues, acknowledging differences and explaining their significance. Be the includer you want to see in the world. - Promote Kindness
Whenever you observe your child demonstrating inclusive behavior, commend them. Be specific in your praise, highlighting the emotions involved. “Sweetheart, it made me so happy to see you invite Mia to play with you. She must feel so loved!” By reinforcing kindness and recognizing its positive effects (like Mia’s joy), you help your child begin to understand empathy—an essential quality for an includer. - Foster Empathy
There will inevitably be moments when your child approaches you in tears, distressed by exclusion. Your instinct might be to confront the offending child, but the real lesson lies in how you respond. Comfort your child first, and once the moment has passed, guide them with a powerful lesson: “Remember how sad you were when Alex didn’t let you join in? We include everyone because we don’t want anyone to feel that way.” Empathy is a skill that requires practice, so teach it consciously. - Stand Against Injustice
Regrettably, we live in a world where inclusivity is often overshadowed by exclusion. A quick glance at the news reveals the heartbreaking outcomes of adults who once were excluders. Our children are observing us. If we remain silent while others are marginalized, what message are we sending about inclusivity? We must be vocal advocates for justice daily. We need to be fierce allies for those who are discriminated against and demonstrate to our children that being an includer means embracing everyone with open arms.
This world is undeniably complex, and there are no easy fixes for the issues we face today. However, we can change the trajectory for future generations by committing to inclusivity and kindness. Let’s raise a generation of includers, and perhaps we’ll witness a shift in our world—one empathetic, inclusive, justice-driven child at a time.
For more parenting insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and consider exploring this home insemination kit for those considering family planning options. For further reading on inclusivity, visit Modern Family Blog.
Summary
In a world where bullying often takes center stage, it’s crucial for parents to raise children who embrace inclusivity. By modeling inclusive behavior, encouraging kindness, fostering empathy, and standing up against injustice, we can help our children become the includers our society desperately needs.