When my partner and I discovered we were expecting our first child, we faced disapproval from our families regarding our decision to raise our child without religion. Having been raised in Catholic and Presbyterian households, we had both drifted away from organized religion after moving out of our childhood homes. Today, as proud atheists, we remain steadfast in our belief that our child’s upbringing will not be influenced by traditional religious teachings.
The most common question posed to us was, “How will you instill morals and values in your child?” I reassured my family that concepts of right and wrong are not solely the domain of religious teachings. I confidently stated that we would navigate this journey just fine, and so would our “heathen” little one.
Fast forward to now, our son is five years old, and he shows no signs of being anything other than a loving, empathetic child. With his earthy green eyes, he has proven to be kind and considerate, and while he certainly tests boundaries, he comprehends the difference between right and wrong. Of course, like any typical kindergartner, he can throw tantrums and struggle with sharing, but overall, he is just like any other five-year-old.
The Rise of Nonreligious Families
Nonreligious families are increasingly becoming the norm in today’s society. Despite long-held stereotypes suggesting that religious individuals possess superior moral standing, scientific studies are beginning to challenge this notion. Research published in Current Biology indicates that children raised without religion tend to exhibit more altruistic behaviors compared to their religious peers. Additionally, the study discovered that as religious children grow older, their propensity to give to others may diminish.
This research doesn’t imply that children of faith are inherently bad; rather, it invites us to ponder the preconceived ideas surrounding moral education. Some experts argue that while religious children often behave well due to the belief in a watchful deity, nonreligious children are encouraged to do good simply because it is the right action to take—essentially a “be good for goodness’ sake” approach to morality.
Everyday Life Without Religion
For me, raising my children without religion is simply a part of our everyday life. I typically reflect on our lack of religious affiliation only during interactions with other families, particularly when invitations to church arise. Similar to how most religious individuals don’t introduce themselves with proclamations of faith, I don’t walk around with a glaring “Atheist!” sign above my head.
In terms of fostering moral values in my children, I don’t overthink it. Our goal is to teach them to treat others with kindness and empathy. Though I may not always serve as the perfect role model (my children certainly hear some colorful language during traffic jams), I believe we are doing a commendable job.
Concerns About Social Interactions
However, I do experience a sense of unease when it comes to revealing our atheism to other parents. I worry about the assumptions they might make about us and, more importantly, about our children, despite knowing these assumptions are unfounded. I don’t fret over my son shouting “This is nonsense!” during a friend’s mealtime prayers, but I do have concerns about potential exclusion during these formative years when parents often orchestrate social interactions outside of school.
Morality clearly delineates right from wrong, and this distinction holds true regardless of one’s beliefs. One doesn’t need a divine authority to recognize that treating others with respect is a fundamental principle worth upholding. Interestingly, aside from differing Sunday routines, religious and nonreligious children share far more similarities than one might think.
Further Reading
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Conclusion
In summary, atheist parents can and do raise moral, empathetic, and upstanding children, illustrating that ethical behavior isn’t exclusive to religious upbringing. By teaching our kids the importance of kindness and empathy, we can help them develop into considerate individuals, regardless of our personal beliefs.