In today’s digital age, it seems like anything is possible, even finding love through a website. Enter Derek Thompson, a self-proclaimed “dedicated workaholic” from Denver, Colorado, who launched a site called ShouldYouDateDerek.com in a bid to attract his ideal partner. Spoiler alert: if you’re looking for romance, the answer is a resounding NO.
Derek’s website is essentially a warning label for anyone considering dating him. He claims that if you’re searching for love, his lengthy manifesto of over 3,000 words might just “transform your life” and that it could be “one of the most captivating letters you’ve ever encountered.”
However, the catch? He outlines a long list of qualifications for his perfect match, along with reasons why potential suitors should steer clear of him. Despite being tall, charming, and accomplished in various aspects of life, Derek reveals a major red flag—he is a workaholic. He amusingly states that the right woman might lure him away from his desk, but is that really the type of partner anyone wants?
To catch Derek’s eye, you must be between the ages of 22 and 35, possess a “slender, healthy physique,” and have “a very pretty face.” Additionally, he seeks someone who is “intelligent, happy, ambitious, and spiritual,” while also steering clear of anyone who enjoys binge-watching TV or spending too much time on social media. Derek seems to believe he is above such simple pleasures.
As for dietary habits, you may indulge in a drink or two, but don’t push your luck. If your idea of good nutrition involves topping off your pizza with diet soda, then Derek is definitely not the man for you. He even boasts about offering a free dream vacation to a “lucky lady,” but only if she submits a full-length photograph for his approval. It’s a curious way to gauge compatibility, to say the least.
In his defense, Derek insists that his meticulous criteria are necessary to filter out incompatible candidates. His hope is to avoid being inundated with responses from women he deems unsuitable. But let’s be real; it’s just as likely that his website will receive no interest whatsoever.
In a rather presumptuous tone, Derek warns that with only one of him available, he might end up dating someone else if he receives too many responses. Good luck with that, Derek!
As of now, the application process is closed, and his website redirects visitors to a page discussing how this quirky dating strategy turned into “one of the most successful PR campaigns of 2023.” Clearly, Derek has mastered the art of self-promotion.
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In summary, Derek’s online dating experiment is a fascinating example of self-awareness—or lack thereof—in the modern dating landscape. As he continues his quest for love, it’s clear that the internet can amplify both the absurd and the sincere in the pursuit of relationships.