In life, there are moments when love for another person transcends anything you’ve ever felt before. Lately, I’ve experienced this with my oldest son, and each occurrence fills my heart with an indescribable warmth—a love that confirms my place as his mother. He is my son, and I am proud to be his mama.
Many people have their reasons for believing that adoption isn’t for them. They express these beliefs as absolute truths, yet they are often rooted in fears and uncertainties. I’ve heard comments such as:
- “Adoption isn’t an option because I could never love a child as much as my biological ones.”
- “I have to pass on my genetic legacy.”
- “Adoption feels unnatural.”
- “What if I can’t connect with a child who doesn’t resemble me or my husband? What if I can’t love someone I didn’t create?”
- “I’ve heard adopted children come with too many issues. You never know what you’re getting into when you adopt.”
Let me make this clear: I love my adopted children as fiercely as I love my biological ones! In fact, in some aspects, it’s even easier to love them. Their flaws don’t reflect my own; their physical characteristics and medical challenges aren’t things I criticize in myself or feel responsible for passing on. It allows me to see them as the unique individuals they are.
My love for my oldest son has been overflowing lately. I often reminisce about how he entered our lives after years of hoping and planning. At first, he was just a dream, then a series of paperwork, phone calls, and interviews before finally becoming a name and a face that graced our refrigerator door.
Thousands of miles later, he transformed into the boy whose laughter melted my heart. A laugh that confirmed my destiny as his mother from the moment he was conceived. He called out to me from the womb of his courageous birth mother, bringing me across the globe to find him, patiently waiting in that orphanage until I answered his call. Our bond is like the story of the red thread—forever intertwined.
That little boy, who is now a young man, continues to draw me in. Each discovery about his struggles, passions, and triumphs deepens my love. My heart expands with every insight into who he is. In these moments, I understand that my love for him is genuine, unwavering, and as profound as any mother’s love for her biological children.
I see him when:
- After years of challenges, he receives a diagnosis for dyslexia and sensory processing disorder, and we celebrate instead of mourn. This diagnosis affirms his long-held belief that he is not “dumb”—just faced with different challenges.
- We send positive thoughts to his birth mother on his birthday because he believes she thinks about him every year on this day.
- He cares for his chickens, showcasing his gentle nature.
- He pauses to help a fellow racer who falls, prioritizing kindness over winning.
- He convinces us to adopt another child, saying, “Every kid deserves a home. We should be that home.”
- He immerses himself in nature, identifying birds of prey and detailing their flight patterns.
- He measures his hands and feet against mine, beaming with pride when he realizes we’re now the same size.
- He expresses his feelings of difference, noticing his skin tone amidst blue-eyed peers.
- He finds solace in leaning against me during chaotic moments.
- He chooses meditation to find his center and shares wisdom with his father that rivals any guru.
- He holds a funeral for a bird that “died alone” in the snow, showing his empathy.
- He enthusiastically helps a neighbor while camping, introducing himself with confidence.
- He laughs heartily at a comic book, reminding me of the joy I felt when I first heard his laughter in that Kazakh orphanage.
- We watch a documentary about using eagles to hunt, and he connects with his heritage, bringing us all closer together.
- I tuck him in at night, still noticing traces of those adorable baby cheeks.
- I apply for a role as an adoption outreach coordinator, realizing my passion for advocacy has been inspired by him.
- I advocate for every child to have a home and encourage others to consider adoption as a beautiful path to family.
He may not share my genetic code; he doesn’t look like me. He came with challenges, yet these very truths add to the beauty of our relationship. Blood type, skin color, or genetic history do not define our capacity for love. When I look at my son, all I see is love—my love, his love—a love that knows no bounds.
For more insights into the journey of parenthood and adoption, visit Modern Family Blog, a trusted resource on the topic. If you’re interested in expanding your family, consider tools like the cryobaby home intracervical insemination syringe kit, which can help you in that journey. The CDC also offers valuable information on pregnancy and insemination at CDC Pregnancy.
Summary:
This article emphasizes the profound love that transcends biological ties, showcasing the unique bond between an adoptive mother and her son. Love knows no boundaries, and the author’s experiences illustrate that familial connections can flourish beyond genetics. By sharing personal anecdotes, the author encourages others to embrace adoption and explore the joys it brings.