Our youngest child, Mia, is 3 and a half. My partner works at our kids’ school, which means she has the summer off. During the school year, Mia is in daycare. However, this summer presented us with a crucial opportunity to tackle potty training before preschool. Let me tell you, she’s putting up quite a fight. My partner, Sarah, and I are taking on this task in shifts, and it feels like our home is practically swimming in pee.
We’ve explored countless strategies: from sticker charts and rewards to watching movies and even letting her sit on the toilet while engrossed in a tablet. We’ve had her observe family members using the toilet, and we’ve even given her real underwear. You get the picture. She knows when she’s going; she announces it loudly, points, chuckles, and tells us, “I’m going pee-pee!” Sometimes, she’ll sneak up behind me, check my rear, and cheerfully ask, “Are you poopy, Daddy?”
“No, I’m not. But thanks for checking,” I reply.
“Oh,” Mia grins mischievously, “I poopy.”
All three of our children have been early walkers and talkers, yet they’ve all taken their sweet time mastering the potty. For the first few years, they were literally walking, talking, little bags of poop. With each child, we haven’t had the luxury of simply waiting for them to get it. Work commitments, school schedules, and other responsibilities have created a tight window for potty training. While Sarah and I struggle to guide our little ones through this process, we’re met with a barrage of parenting tales from others who make it sound effortless.
“My daughter was potty trained in a day.”
“My son was using the potty at 6 months.”
“My daughter asked to use the potty at 2, and now, at 3, she’s doing calculus.”
Every time I hear these success stories, it feels as if they come with a smug undertone, suggesting I’m somehow failing because my child is still in diapers. In those moments, I can’t help but want to cover their mouths with my pee-soaked hands and tell them to keep their stories to themselves. Frustration mounts, my house smells, and it’s infuriating for someone to present potty training as a walk in the park.
Okay, maybe I’m being a bit dramatic.
If your child mastered the potty training process quickly, congratulations—truly, I’m happy for you. But right now, I’m neck-deep in soggy cartoon-themed underwear, and every seat in my house is a potential wet spot.
So if you’re among those parents who breezed through potty training, this post may not resonate with you. I’m writing for those parents who find themselves in the trenches—juggling work and the urgent need to get their child trained, all while navigating a strong-willed toddler. I’m here for the parents chasing a naked little one down the hall, as pee sprays everywhere, while you’re shouting, “Put it in the potty!”
I understand your struggle. It’s disheartening when everyone around you makes it sound like a minor inconvenience, and you feel like you’re failing at one of the simplest aspects of parenting.
You’re not alone. Many parents have been where you are now, feeling overwhelmed and unsure. Just know, your child will eventually figure it out. In the meantime, if you’re like Sarah and me, you’re scouring the internet each night for new approaches to potty training. If you have a supportive partner, you’re sharing this journey, working together to find what resonates with your child. For some kids, this process requires patience and creativity.
And you know what? That’s what real parenting looks like. When your child finally climbs onto the toilet and does their business where it belongs, the sense of satisfaction will be unmatched. It’ll feel more rewarding than getting your driver’s license, or the moment your partner said, “I do.” It’s a triumph that rivals graduating from college. I’m not exaggerating—the joy is on another level.
So hang in there. Don’t lose hope. Remember, every child is unique, and just because your little one is struggling, that doesn’t diminish their worth or intelligence. Ignore the judgment from other parents. Keep your eyes peeled for those “I need to potty” signals, keep that carpet cleaner at the ready, and continue the fight. You will get through this, I promise.
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In summary, potty training can be a daunting and frustrating experience, especially for parents juggling work and other responsibilities. It’s important to remember that every child is different, and just because others seem to have it easy doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Keep trying, stay positive, and lean on your partner for support.