Updated: Aug. 31, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 21, 2017
Lately, I’ve realized I don’t have as many close friends as I thought. Don’t get me wrong—I have a rich history filled with wonderful friends from various stages of my life. I’m blessed with a fantastic family that often serves as my closest companions, and I’m fortunate to live in a great neighborhood bustling with energetic kids on bikes and scooters.
However, when it comes to finding that ultimate “mom friend” who will stand by me through the chaos of diaper blowouts and tantrums, my circle is limited. Why is that? I believe it’s because I’m choosy. Discovering a true mom friend feels akin to dating, but with the added complexity of juggling 2–4 little ones.
This reflection prompted me to compile a list of qualities I seek in my ideal mom friend. Remember those days when you jotted down your dream partner’s attributes? Here’s my version for the perfect mom friend. See if any of this resonates with you.
Be Authentic.
This is my top requirement. Let’s skip the pretense. Forget the “look how perfect my kids are” posts and the “#bestpartnerever” nonsense. Just be yourself. The image accompanying this post? It’s blurry because I had no one to take it for me. My hair is a mess, and I’m juggling two bottles of wine and a baby—because that’s real life.
Stay Chill.
Please, no hyperactive vibes. I’m already dealing with the lively energy of my three young kids daily.
Enjoy Wine.
If you’re not a wine enthusiast, please don’t judge me when I reach for my second or third glass. Parenting is challenging!
On that note, let’s ditch the judgment. I’m already my toughest critic; I don’t need a friend adding to that.
Be Understanding About Cancellations.
I’m exhausted—like, deeply fatigued.
Don’t Take Offense if You Get Left Out.
If I accidentally forget to invite you somewhere, please know it’s not personal; I probably just blanked. I’m tired, remember?
Avoid Commenting on My Social Media Posts.
You can post all you want, but I’ll pretend I missed it because it’s way more enjoyable to hear about it directly from you.
Let Me Share My Stories.
If I post a funny story (even if you don’t find it amusing), just humor me and let me share it again in person. I enjoy making you laugh.
Your Partner Must Be Decent.
I want to go on double dates, so it’s essential that your husband isn’t a jerk.
Discipline My Kids if Needed.
If my children are misbehaving, please feel free to correct them. I expect them to respect you.
My House Won’t Always Be Tidy.
If yours is spotless, I might feel like you’re trying too hard. Let’s keep it real and equal.
I Appreciate Your Hustle.
Regardless of your job—whether it’s “just” managing toddlers or something else—I want to support your ambitions. It’d be great if you could cheer me on too.
Let’s Keep Gossip to a Minimum.
We can vent about our challenges, but let’s not spiral into negativity. After venting, let’s discuss our dreams of being empty nesters.
Let’s Plan a Getaway Together.
Or at least a night at a hotel to unwind and celebrate life. We both deserve a break. Don’t make me feel guilty for leaving my kids behind; we need this!
If We Haven’t Connected in a While, Reach Out.
Let’s grab coffee and catch up without acting like it’s been ages—let’s just pick up where we left off.
As mothers, we’re a unique bunch striving to raise these tiny humans. Let’s support each other, and I promise to have your back too.
For more insights on parenthood and support, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re looking for tips on enhancing fertility, consider reading about this fertility booster for men. Also, you can find valuable information on this topic at Modern Family Blog.
In summary, finding that ideal mom friend is crucial in navigating the ups and downs of motherhood. Authenticity, understanding, and mutual support form the foundation of a strong friendship that can survive the trials of parenting.