“Am I doing a good job as a mom?” I asked my partner, my voice trembling as I fought back tears. I already anticipated his reassuring response, but hearing him say it out loud provided a moment of solace.
“Absolutely. You’re doing great,” he assured me, settling beside me at the kitchen island. “What’s going on?”
What’s always going on!
“I ask our son to do simple things — to put on his shoes, tidy up his toys, eat something nutritious instead of those cheesy crackers — and he completely tunes me out. I find myself repeating the same request multiple times, growing increasingly frustrated until I eventually lose my temper and start yelling…” I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks. “I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE THE MOM HE NEEDS!”
That moment revealed a torrent of emotions I had bottled up for months, even years. Despite devouring countless parenting books and articles, none of the advice seemed to truly enhance my connection with my 5-year-old.
I recognized that change was necessary; I didn’t like the parent I was becoming—a mom who yelled, who spent her days counting down to bedtime. I even started to doubt my capability to parent effectively.
While my partner did his best to support me, his demanding job meant most of the parenting burden rested on my shoulders.
That night, I found myself at my computer well past bedtime, searching for answers. Was I not providing enough praise? Or was I perhaps offering too much? Were my expectations unrealistic for a child his age? Or was I just justifying his behavior? Each article I read seemed to contradict the last, leaving me more perplexed than before.
Then it hit me: I was ill-prepared to handle the challenges in my relationship with my son. Just because I’d perused a variety of parenting literature didn’t mean I had the expertise to manage our situation effectively.
The reality was I needed guidance. And I realized that help wouldn’t come from a book, podcast, or well-meaning friend. What I truly needed was tailored advice from a professional. So, I typed “Local Parent-Child Counselors” into Google. To my surprise, I discovered a wealth of options in my area, along with testimonials from parents who, like me, sought to enhance their parenting skills.
I quickly scheduled our first appointment for the following week.
I won’t claim to have found a miraculous solution. Even after several sessions, my son and I are still learning to communicate effectively. But we are finally beginning to understand each other, which is a significant step forward.
One technique we recently learned is Whole Body Listening (WBL), developed by speech-language pathologist Susanne Marie Poulette. This method encourages children to listen actively with their entire bodies—not just their ears. It emphasizes looking with their eyes, keeping hands still, planting feet on the floor, and remaining quiet.
As parents, we often assume that listening comes naturally to our children, but for many, it’s a skill that must be cultivated. In her book, Whole-Body Listening: Developing Active Auditory Skills, Poulette explains that these activities are designed to teach children how to listen meaningfully, helping them engage with spoken messages.
In the past, I expected my son to hear me even when his focus was elsewhere. I never thought to ask him to “look at me” when I spoke or to “pause your activity so you can hear me.” It’s no wonder I grew frustrated when I had to repeat myself. Now I understand that he simply wasn’t processing what I was saying.
Some people question my decision to take my 5-year-old to counseling, wondering if he’s too young. My answer is a firm “No.” Children are never too young to develop communication skills. These essential abilities will benefit him—and our entire family—for years to come.
So, if you find that parenting resources aren’t sufficient for your needs, I encourage you to seek a counselor. It has made a significant difference for my family. Parenting is undoubtedly challenging, but with professional support, it can become a bit easier.
For additional insights on parenting and related topics, check out this in-depth article. If you’re considering starting a family, this resource on home insemination is also worth exploring.
Summary
This article recounts a mother’s experience of seeking counseling for her 5-year-old son after struggling with communication and parenting challenges. By seeking professional guidance, she learned valuable techniques to enhance their relationship and foster effective communication.