This is me in a dress that, according to societal standards, I shouldn’t be wearing. It’s not the first time I’ve donned this outfit, and it definitely won’t be the last. While I recognize it may not be the most flattering choice, I’m not looking for compliments like, “OMG, you look amazing!” or “Good for you!” What I truly want is for you to understand why I confidently chose to wear a dress that many would say is inappropriate for me.
I snapped this photo while enjoying a girls’ weekend getaway with my best friend, fueled by more than a glass of prosecco or two, as we prepared for a lovely dinner. Some might say I look a bit pregnant in this dress—yes, that little bump in the front is noticeable. That’s okay! After all, I once carried two beautiful children in that very area, but now it primarily holds my favorite burgers and a glass of crisp sauvignon blanc.
I picked out this dress during a trip with my husband. As soon as I tried it on, I knew it wasn’t designed for my 5-foot-2, 160-pound frame, yet I felt fantastic in it. I can’t explain why; I just did. I’m not typically one to wear form-fitting outfits, but the desire to own this dress won out, and I felt a sense of pride in purchasing it.
Here’s the truth: I’m currently at my heaviest weight ever aside from my pregnancies. And let me tell you, the struggle with weight is far from just physical. If you’ve dealt with weight issues, you know that the real battle lies in how you perceive yourself and the internal dialogue you maintain. After four decades of telling myself that I shouldn’t wear what I love, I’ve decided to shift my focus. I’m committed to practicing self-kindness.
As a work-from-home mom, I have the flexibility to create my own schedule. I could easily dedicate hours to working out or even run to the next city and back if I really wanted to. However, my priorities lie elsewhere right now. I’m focused on keeping my life in order, raising compassionate children, nurturing friendships, and cultivating a joyful marriage.
For too long, I stood in front of the mirror, comparing my appearance to unrealistic ideals. It’s exhausting! Now, in a world filled with genuine challenges, I’m choosing to hit the “Decline” button on the self-doubt calls that flood my mind. I’m done with that cycle. I want to embrace self-love, plain and simple.
This doesn’t mean I’m abandoning exercise completely. I still plan to incorporate it into my life because maintaining a healthy body is important to me. But I’m taking a break from the harsh self-criticism. I’m dialing down the negativity I’ve been directing at myself, realizing that my own thoughts weigh far heavier than anyone else’s opinions.
So, here’s my message: If I can confidently wear a dress that I “shouldn’t” just to enjoy a night out with my husband or a fancy dinner with a friend, then you can too! And if I’m brave enough to post this image for the world to see, then surely you can rock a dress you think you shouldn’t wear to that upcoming barbecue. If it’s a challenge to convince yourself, remember that life is far too short to be constrained by what you think you shouldn’t wear.
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In summary, embracing your style and wearing what makes you feel good is empowering. Let’s start prioritizing self-love and shedding the weight of societal expectations.