Dear Family,
I love each of you more than chocolate or even coffee (though, let’s be honest, your morning voices can be a bit grating before I’ve had my caffeine fix). But seriously, why can’t we just settle on one water glass per person? By the end of the day, it feels like we have three or four times as many dirty glasses as we have family members. It’s utterly absurd.
I understand the initial appeal of grabbing a new glass whenever thirst strikes—it’s much simpler than hunting down the one you used an hour ago. With identical glasses cluttering the counter and no recollection of where you placed yours, it’s easy to see why this habit formed. But after years—yes, years—of trying to curb this glass frenzy, I’ve created systems that should be foolproof. And yet, here we are.
I first introduced the “designated place” concept. Everyone was supposed to choose a spot for their water glass. When you finished drinking, just set it back in its spot. Simple, right? Unfortunately, expecting everyone to remember this was a bit optimistic. If I can’t even get you to toss wrappers in the trash where they belong, I should have known better than to think the designated glass system would stick.
Not one to back down easily, I moved on to the colorful rubber band system. I thought it was genius! A bowl of rubber bands right next to the water dispenser. Just grab a glass and choose a few rubber bands to wrap around it—instant identification! But surprise, surprise, this plan flopped too. You kept forgetting to add the bands or mixed them up. Despite my efforts to explain the beauty and simplicity of the system, it fell flat, and our collection of dirty glasses continued to grow.
Some days, I wonder if you all are conducting a secret experiment to see how far you can push me. But I’m resourceful. So I devised my ultimate plan: personalized beaded stretchy bracelets with everyone’s names. I crafted each one with your favorite colors and letter beads. This should have been foolproof—no way to confuse your glass with anyone else’s! But somehow, you managed to lose those too. How does that even happen?
In a perfect world, the stretchy band would make its way from the bowl to your glass, then back to the bowl after washing. Yet here we are, still swimming in a sea of dirty water glasses. I considered having each of you use your own unique water bottle, but I despise cleaning those, and let’s face it—you have a knack for misplacing them as well. Assigning each person a unique cup could work, but we often have guests over, and they need to hydrate too.
So, is this really how far we’ve sunk? I mean, come on, family—this isn’t rocket science! One glass per day is all I ask. Whatever it takes, just make it happen. I’m out of ideas here.
Love,
Your Frustrated but Hopeful Mom
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