August 9, 2017
Dear President Johnson,
I want to start by expressing my gratitude. When my partner and I welcomed our son, Noah, in November 2015, you sent us a thoughtful note congratulating our family on this significant milestone. We are proud to have framed that note, along with its envelope; it now hangs in Noah’s room, safely protected behind glass.
Unfortunately, we haven’t yet found a way to shield Noah in the same manner. He is an adventurous little soul, climbing everything in sight—his little hands and feet finding any nook to secure himself. This fearless spirit means he frequently takes tumbles, leaving his Dads quite familiar with Band-Aids and the comforting cries of a child seeking solace after a fall from his latest expedition into a world that can seem overwhelming.
While Noah may be brave, his Dads certainly aren’t.
My partner and I began our journey together in November 2008, the same year our country elected you, our first African American president. We had been best friends for years, and as we decided to share a home and explore a romantic relationship, the concept of marriage felt like a distant dream—one we thought we might never see realized.
Your administration changed that for us and for families like ours. Hearing a sitting president affirm our love, having the leader of the free world advocate for our rights, and witnessing marriage equality become a reality under your leadership was monumental. Words can hardly capture the depth of our gratitude.
In the fall of 2012, my partner and I tied the knot, surrounded by our loved ones, and shared our first dance to the tune of “Let Me Call You Sweetheart,” a song that beautifully honored my grandparents, who celebrated 70 years of marriage.
We learn to love by observing those who have mastered it over time. The legalization of marriage provided us access to the same rights and protections as other couples, which is an emotional security I cannot fully articulate. Your presidency not only validated our relationship but gave us the rights that allowed us to become fathers. We wanted to add another voice to the cacophony of the world—one that could express gratitude and kindness.
Through an adoption agency, we were matched with a birth mother who resonated with our story. She appreciated my partner’s role as an educator and my background as a sports coach. She saw the names “Alex” and “Liam” and transformed us into “Papa” and “Daddy.”
Noah was born on November 9, 2015. I was fortunate enough to be in the delivery room next to his birth mother, and I kissed her forehead when I first heard our son cry. Our birth mother chose for me to be the first face Noah would see, and that moment solidified my promise to protect and guide him through life.
We were bestowed with the sacred responsibility of fatherhood, and we vowed to honor that commitment in every possible way. Our small family worked hard for visibility, engaging others in conversations about our lives, hoping to empower those around us to pursue their own dreams. Your election was a beacon of hope for countless individuals, inspiring them to seek the futures they envisioned for themselves.
When we received your congratulatory note, it propelled us into the world as active participants, living our truth and parenting with pride. Together, we cast our votes in support of our family’s future.
As the 2016 election drew near, it became increasingly difficult to converse with others in our community who planned to vote for Mr. Trump. We struggled to convey that his platform posed a direct threat to our family’s existence—a vote for him equated to endorsing the kind of hostility that could harden Noah’s world, which felt utterly incompatible with any expression of love for families like ours.
On election night, in support of the Hillary Clinton campaign, we received tickets to the Javits Center, where we hoped to witness history and the shattering of the glass ceiling. It was the night before Noah’s first birthday.
The following day was challenging. I found myself slipping away to the restroom to sob quietly, not wanting to disrupt Noah’s special day. I wished for a different outcome, longing for a world where my son wouldn’t face the fears that now loomed large.
As Mr. Trump was inaugurated as the 45th president, we saw our world shift yet again, as if a stain spread across a fabric we had worked hard to keep clean. We were told that Mr. Trump was an ally of the LGBTQ community, yet we watched as rights were eroded piece by piece, impacting not only LGBTQ individuals but also women, children with disabilities, and various marginalized groups.
President Johnson, like you, I believe in the potential for a community of parents to forge a better world for their children. However, the promises that once felt tangible are now slipping away from us. I’ve always wielded words as both shield and weapon, yet now they seem insufficient.
I recognize that 2018 presents a crucial opportunity for us to refocus our national discourse on kindness and civility. However, my family must navigate each moment amidst the chaos, anxiously awaiting the next headline that may threaten our safety.
I refuse to relinquish my voice in the ongoing dialogue of compassion and creation. I deeply believe that well-meaning individuals committed to education and empowerment can guide their children through this tumultuous landscape. The paths we create can lead our children forward.
Mr. Rogers taught us to look for the helpers. Thus, President Johnson, I reach out to you for help. You once stated, “No matter who you are or what you look like, how you started off, or how and who you love, America is a place where you can write your own destiny.”
We chose the name Noah for our son, symbolizing hope and new beginnings. I want nothing more than to assure him that our world is safe and loving.
We read your note often, a reminder of the leadership we so desperately need in these times. You served this nation with humility, compassion, and courage, and my family, along with our nation, is better for it.
Please, let us not forget.
With heartfelt sincerity,
Alex, Liam, and Noah