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When couples reach the point of considering therapy, it signals a critical moment in their relationship. While seeking counseling can be a healthy step forward, it also suggests that the marriage may be on shaky ground. We consulted various therapists to identify common signs that indicate a couple may be heading for divorce.
1. Diminished Respect
Therapists agree that a lack of respect between partners is a significant red flag. Once one person views the other as lacking kindness or integrity, it becomes challenging to rebuild the relationship. “When one spouse expresses disdain for the other, it’s a major obstacle to overcome,” notes Samantha Reynolds, a therapist based in Atlanta. Maintaining a belief in your partner’s good intentions is crucial for a healthy marriage.
2. Unequal Responsibility
For therapy to be effective, both partners must acknowledge their contributions to the relationship’s challenges. “If one person believes they are completely blameless, it creates frustration and resentment,” explains Tom Harris, a relationship counselor. Mutual accountability is essential. Both partners should be willing to reflect on their actions and work towards change.
3. Unbalanced Communication
Effective communication is vital for a lasting marriage. If one partner avoids discussing important issues altogether, it can lead to unresolved conflicts that ultimately drive a wedge between them. “If couples don’t communicate openly, their problems tend to escalate,” warns Lisa Grant, a communication specialist. Finding ways to express feelings constructively is essential, even if it requires practice.
4. Defeatist Mindset
A willingness to fight for the relationship is essential. “When couples come to therapy with no hope left, it’s often a sign that they may not recover,” remarks Mark Johnson, a licensed marriage therapist. Healthy conflict can indicate that both partners still believe in the possibility of resolution. If they cease to engage in discussions, emotional distance may grow too vast to bridge.
5. Lack of Empathy
When either partner exhibits self-centered traits, the likelihood of divorce increases. “Those who come into therapy solely to validate their own needs often struggle to connect with their spouse,” states Ellen Brooks, a family mediator. Empathy is critical; it means understanding your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them.
In conclusion, therapists consistently emphasize that if both partners are committed to making their marriage work, there is a good chance of success. However, if the effort is one-sided, it may be time to reconsider the relationship. For further insights on this topic, check out this related post from our blog. Remember, working on a marriage is a journey that requires patience and dedication.
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