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Can You Monitor Your Kids at All Times — But Should You?
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As a latchkey kid in the ’80s and ’90s, I remember a public service announcement that aired nightly: “It’s 10 p.m. Do YOU know where your children are?” This phrase became a cultural touchstone, inspiring everything from parodies by celebrities to even a Michael Jackson song.
Fast forward to today, where smartphones and smartwatches let us track our children’s every move. We can even monitor their driving speed or control their car music from afar. The thought of not knowing where our kids are at 10 p.m. seems absurd, especially when they’re likely in their rooms glued to their screens.
But is this really an advancement? What are the implications of constantly tracking our children? What benefits do we gain, and what do they potentially lose? How do we find a balance in the surveillance tools available today? Is this technology ultimately helping or hindering our children?
Just the other day, my 10-year-old son received a Gizmo smartwatch, and I felt a surge of excitement. Over the course of a regular playdate, I texted him multiple times, asking if he was having fun and letting him know I loved him. His replies were limited to emojis. While I was seeking reassurance, I realized I was overstepping my boundaries; I was letting my anxiety distract him from enjoying his childhood. When I was his age, I was free to explore without worrying about my parents’ concerns. If something went wrong, I learned to handle it without needing to keep my mom updated.
Lenore Skenazy, President of Let Grow and author of Free Range Kids, believes that tracking our kids damages trust within families. She argues that constant connectivity prevents children from building self-efficacy, which is essential for their mental well-being. As she points out, we’ve lost our ability to tolerate uncertainty. For instance, she recalls a story about a girl who, instead of fixing her bike chain herself, called her dad for help, missing out on a valuable learning experience.
Tracking our kids may hinder their ability to navigate challenges independently. Is digital freedom really beneficial? Skenazy asserts that the individuals we used to monitor were typically those on parole.
While it’s nearly impossible to avoid tracking these days, we must acknowledge the impact it has on our parenting. Our fears often drive us to want to know everything, making it feel irresponsible to let our children venture out without some means of tracking.
Many parents worry about dangers like kidnapping or accidents, even if the statistics suggest these fears may be exaggerated. The recent tragedies in Texas and Illinois have made it hard for us to promote independence in our children. For some, this need to control extends to wanting to manage how our kids act in our absence. However, greater independence often results in better behavior and decision-making. Studies have shown that autonomy is linked to enhanced motivation, confidence, and even academic performance.
According to Skenazy, tracking apps erode trust in our relationships with our kids. If children cannot gain independence and learn from their mistakes without constant parental oversight, they may struggle to grow. Tracking can create a false sense of security, trapping parents in a cycle of anxiety and vigilance.
As childhood eventually comes to an end, the question arises: when do we stop monitoring our kids? As they transition into adulthood, can we shift from being hyper-vigilant parents to allowing them space to grow? Perhaps we should view our surveillance as a safety net for emergencies rather than a way to control their every move.
I’m learning to manage my fears, allowing my son to bike to school while checking the Gizmo app to ensure he arrives safely. I’ve realized that to truly love him, I need to refrain from constant communication.
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In summary, while technology enables us to keep a close eye on our children, it is crucial to find a balance between safety and independence. Allowing kids to explore their world without constant surveillance promotes their growth and resilience, ultimately fostering a more trusting relationship.
Keyphrase: Tracking children and autonomy
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