Are You Raising a Misogynist?

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The provocative question, “Is your child a blatant sexist?” might seem alarming, especially if your child is still quite young. You might think they’re more focused on getting an extra cookie than on the complexities of gender politics. However, given the pervasive issues we see in society—from high-profile cases of sexual assault to the undermining of women’s rights—it’s not unreasonable to be concerned. We live in a world where advertisements often diminish women’s voices and reinforce outdated stereotypes, and children are particularly adept at absorbing these messages. For example, a global survey revealed that 37% of American boys in fourth grade believe that boys are inherently smarter than girls.

A personal story illustrates this well: my three-year-old son, who was attached to his pacifier, encountered a pink one at the store when all the others were broken. He looked disheartened and declared, “Those pacis are for girls.” That night, he chose to sleep without one rather than challenge gender norms. This incident highlights how deeply ingrained societal messages can affect our children.

Instead of asking, “Are you raising a misogynist?” the more pertinent question is, “How are you countering the pervasive sexism in our culture?” While combating these influences is challenging, there are effective strategies you can employ:

1. Avoid Gendered Language: Studies show that using gender-specific terms in classrooms can reinforce stereotypes. Instead of saying, “Alright, boys,” use neutral terms like “class” to foster an inclusive environment.
2. Encourage Cross-Gender Play: Kids who engage with peers of the opposite sex develop a broader understanding of gender norms. Arrange playdates that mix genders to help them see their similarities.
3. Choose Non-Gendered Toys: Opt for toys that promote cognitive and creative skills rather than those traditionally marketed to one gender, which often reinforce stereotypes.
4. Reject Benevolent Sexism: Teach your children that women are complex individuals, not just delicate beings to be admired or protected. Simplifying women to stereotypes undermines their value.
5. Treat Children Equally: Be mindful of how you respond to aggression in boys versus girls. Equal treatment teaches kids that behavior is not inherently tied to gender.
6. Discuss Sexism Openly: When you encounter examples of sexism, whether in public or from your child, use these moments to discuss and challenge these ideas.
7. Be Mindful of Casual Attitudes: Dismissing the importance of gendered choices, like toys or clothing, can reinforce stereotypes. Children learn to differentiate between genders based on what they observe at home.
8. Share Household Responsibilities: Show your child that chores and responsibilities are not gender-specific. A balanced division of labor demonstrates that all tasks are equally important.
9. Teach True Bravery: Help your son understand that bravery is about facing fears, not about being fearless. Encourage him to express his emotions openly.

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