Please Exclude Me from the Group Gatherings, Thanks

pregnant woman in black shirt holding her belly

I’m perfectly fine without a squad, and that’s just how I like it.

By Jamie Roberts | June 22, 2022

The thought of book clubs, girls’ trips, bachelorette parties, and mommy meetups sends a wave of anxiety through me. I do my best to avoid these situations, and when I can’t, I find it difficult to engage. Whether it’s my anxiety, my introverted nature, or my aversion to group dynamics, these events can feel overwhelming. The anticipation brings stress, the experience feels awkward, and the aftermath leaves me drained. Call me antisocial or label me as not a “girls’ girl,” but if you’re planning a ladies’ night, please don’t include me.

Before you judge me, let me explain. I cherish being a woman and believe in the power of female empowerment. I enjoy deep conversations, walks, and dinners with my mother and close friends. It’s the group activities I can’t stand. In larger gatherings, I often feel the need to act overly enthusiastic or silly just to fit in—something I only realize afterward, leaving me feeling strange and uncomfortable.

I’ve always preferred meaningful connections over a wide social circle, forging deep ties with a select few rather than mingling with a crowd. Even my closest friends don’t really know each other. There’s no crew or #girlgang—just me and my chosen favorites, and this arrangement works well for me.

Yet, I sometimes wish I were different. I scroll through social media and see groups of women enjoying cute and exciting outings. A part of me thinks, “That looks fun! I should join in!” But when I do, it rarely feels enjoyable. No matter how ideal the setting or how much I like the women individually, group dynamics just don’t click for me.

I think it’s the nature of group behavior. Personalities tend to become exaggerated, and everyone, including myself, seems to compete for attention in some odd way. My rational mind tells me to be myself, observe, and contribute quietly when needed, but my socially anxious self often takes over, pushing me to make loud, sarcastic jokes. It’s exhausting.

Even in casual settings—like a group of moms at the park—conversations often turn competitive, with each trying to outdo the other with stories or anecdotes. I can’t fathom why this doesn’t cause anxiety for others. Am I just overly aware of my surroundings? I wish I could tune out the noise as others seem to.

So here I am, navigating motherhood in a world filled with gatherings that I have no desire to attend. And that’s perfectly fine. I’ll continue to nurture my one-on-one relationships and leave the group activities to those who thrive in them. I’m learning to embrace my uniqueness instead of feeling like an outlier because I don’t share the same interests as women I see online. I’ll focus on engaging in activities that truly make me feel at ease, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll change my mind—but probably not.

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In summary, I prefer to engage in meaningful one-on-one connections rather than large group gatherings, which often leave me feeling anxious and exhausted. I recognize my preferences and feel content focusing on relationships that bring me joy and comfort.

Keyphrase: Group gatherings anxiety

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