The Ups and Downs of Life in Finland: A Personal Perspective

pregnant woman throwing toddler in the air sitting by a tree

As an American raising four children aged 6 to 13 in Finland with my Finnish partner, I often find myself reflecting on the unique aspects of life here. With all the recent buzz about Nordic countries, one might assume that every problem can be solved with a good sauna session. While I genuinely appreciate the low crime rates, impressive gender equality, outstanding educational opportunities, universal healthcare, and the clean air and lush forests, there are aspects of daily life that can be a bit exhausting.

Let me explain. In my experience, the overall success of Finnish society translates into a form of constant vigilance on a micro level. It often feels as if my partner believes that if we let even the smallest detail slip, society will unravel. Unsurprisingly, this means he sticks rigidly to every standard imaginable, and then some.

Take sippy cups, for example. The moment our children could grasp one, my husband deemed them too mature for such items. Instead, they were handed regular cups, regardless of the inevitable spills. I had to draw the line somewhere; with four kids, I settled on plastic tumblers as a compromise—still messy, but less glass to clean up. To his credit, this insistence is rooted in Finnish reality; Finnish children often carry their own trays with ceramic plates and glass cups from an early age.

Alongside these early expectations of coordination and table manners is a strict societal rule against displaying frustration in public. There’s simply no excuse for losing one’s temper. While I sometimes wonder if my annoyance stems from my husband’s specific views or from broader Finnish norms, it’s evident that maintaining composure in shared spaces is a societal expectation. Logically, this promotes harmony, and I appreciate not having to worry about road rage. However, with my children, we often jokingly admonish, “Shh, your American is showing!” when they get too loud in public.

At home, another surprising standard revolves around safety. For my husband, the act of unlocking the door is more concerning than the minuscule chance of an intruder entering our home. Personally, I can’t leave the door ajar when I want to relax, especially when I’m alone with the kids. While it may seem irrational, that’s just how I feel. Statistically, his viewpoint makes sense given our low crime rate, yet it’s frustrating to be asked to disregard a lifetime of caution.

Lastly, I’m all for Finland’s push towards a sustainable economy, but I struggle with how it affects gift-giving. My partner believes that gifts are often wasteful and misses the mark. In schools, every child’s birthday is celebrated uniformly, and parents are discouraged from bringing individual treats, which prevents uncomfortable comparisons. I’ve learned the hard way that any end-of-year gifts for teachers or coaches should be collective endeavors. While I enjoy celebrating someone who has positively impacted my child, I’ve come to accept that this practice is viewed with suspicion here, as if it could lead to favoritism.

And I still chuckle at the memory of my child presenting a glittery shoebox of handmade valentines to a bewildered preschool teacher—just not too loudly, of course.

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In summary, living in Finland has its perks and challenges, especially for an American parent like me. While I cherish the many positives, the stringent societal norms can be a bit trying at times.

Keyphrase: Life in Finland as an American parent
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