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Recently, my pre-teen and I were browsing YouTube when we stumbled upon a clip from Mean Girls. You know, the iconic scene where Regina George’s mom declares she’s not just a regular mom, but a cool mom. I chuckled at the nostalgia and found myself reminiscing about the early 2000s.
My pre-teen’s inquisitive questions about the movie snapped me back to the present. To make the film’s PG-13 themes relatable, we discussed topics like beauty standards, imposter syndrome, and the intricate emotions that come with growing up.
It’s been quite a while since I navigated my own pre-teen years, and things have changed drastically since then. Back in my day, wisdom on health came from magazines like J-14 and Cosmo (when Mom wasn’t watching). Productivity was praised, while anxiety was dismissed as mere sensitivity. Mental health discussions were nearly non-existent.
Now, as I raise my daughter, I want to ensure she has a healthier, more balanced perspective on life. I’m focusing on teaching her to prioritize her overall well-being—physical, mental, and emotional.
Physical Health
In my youth, we were bombarded by messages from icons like Kate Moss, promoting the idea that thinness equals beauty. While the beauty standards have evolved, the notion that certain bodies are more desirable persists. Thankfully, there’s a growing movement towards body acceptance, which empowers our tweens to combat these harmful messages. Body acceptance means appreciating your body for all it can do, not just how it looks.
It’s crucial to discuss the physical changes that come with puberty—like body hair, different scents, and periods. Health class often doesn’t cover everything, so proactive conversations are essential. Without them, feelings of shame can surface, but there’s nothing shameful about the changes your child’s body is experiencing.
Mental Health
Mental health is universal and should never be overlooked. Teaching pre-teens basic self-care skills, such as recognizing when to take a break, is vital. While it’s tempting to shield them from life’s challenges, equipping them with coping strategies will serve them well now and in the future.
For instance, they may feel pressure to join every sport or activity their friends do, but overcommitting can lead to burnout. Similarly, it’s important for them to understand that it’s okay not to excel in every academic pursuit; the world won’t stop turning if they don’t ace a test. Perspective is key.
Emotional Health
Tweens experience intense emotions as they navigate their changing environments. Whether it’s the sadness of losing a best friend or the anxiety of starting middle school, these feelings are significant. When your child faces these challenges, it’s not always about finding solutions but about helping them acknowledge and process their emotions.
If your daughter feels uneasy about how a boy spoke to her, it’s crucial to reinforce the importance of setting boundaries. Similarly, if your son feels uncomfortable with certain peer behaviors, reassuring him that it’s okay to assert his limits can be transformative.
While my approach to nurturing my daughter’s health might not make me the “cool mom,” it empowers me to provide the tools she needs for a fulfilling future. For more insights on these topics, check out this related blog post.