The Day I Decided to Board a Plane to Somewhere New

May 26, 2022

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I was originally set to board a flight to Nairobi for a press trip, but a surprise snowstorm in the Midwest threw a wrench in my plans. After arriving at the Cleveland airport three hours late, I ended up at JFK, scrambling to rearrange my itinerary. Eventually, I decided to stop running and accept my fate.

I called my ex-partner to explain the situation. He suggested I return home on the next available flight to Cleveland. While people bustled around me, I glanced at the list of departing flights, my duffel bag, camera, and laptop resting at my feet. I could either head back to the snow, the duplex in need of repairs, and my two toddlers, or I could seize the opportunity to do something I had always dreamed of — something reminiscent of those adventurous ’90s films before everything was booked online. Standing in front of the departures board, I realized I could just choose a new destination. Anywhere.

As I scanned the flights again, Japan caught my eye first, but it was still closed to American travelers due to COVID-19. Then, I saw San Juan, Puerto Rico. I had visited a decade ago during the San Sebastian Street Festival and wondered if history would repeat itself. Restrictions for Puerto Rico had just eased, and my bags were already packed for warmer weather. A quick check revealed a flight to San Juan for about $200 — a far cry from the $500 return to Cleveland.

I shifted my weight, contemplating whether I was being reckless. Surely, my travel insurance would cover the return flight if needed, or I could try to catch the next flight to Nairobi. However, the press tour was a safari, which meant I would have to find my way out of the city to join the group even if I arrived in Nairobi the next day.

Years ago, I had missed the chance to see Puerto Rico’s bioluminescent bay because I was a hungover 23-year-old at a hostel. After celebrating at the San Sebastian Street Festival with my sister, I couldn’t bring myself to wake up early enough the following day, despite my desire to witness the glowing plankton. With only five bioluminescent bays in the world, and three located in Puerto Rico, I realized that the optimal time to see this natural wonder was during the new moon, which was just days away.

I decided to board the plane.

In my younger years, I dreamt of a life filled with travel, never settling down. I could hike ten miles daily in the Rockies and imagined teaching English across Asia and Africa while writing novels from a hammock. While I always envisioned having children, I planned to explore distant lands with them. However, reality intervened with challenging pregnancies, sick family members, and a pandemic that halted my plans. Even solo trips came to a standstill.

Now was my chance to reconnect with my adventurous spirit. I booked hostels and laced up my hiking boots, but I quickly had to confront some uncomfortable truths. I was no longer young or fit enough to fit in with college kids and their boundless energy. Accepting my new identity as a mother was frustrating, and I opted for private accommodations to accommodate my changed circumstances. Yet, the insecurities lingered, surfacing in the quiet moments when I returned to my room.

On my last night in Puerto Rico, an island-wide blackout plunged everything into darkness. Hearing the disgruntled voices from La Factoria across the street, I grabbed my camera and flashlight, stepping onto the balcony of my Old San Juan Airbnb. I captured long-exposure photographs, and as a generator lit up a bar, I saw a young woman glowing against the dark backdrop, making me ponder if I would ever be that carefree again.

While it was clear I could never revert to my former self, I realized I could still strive to become the person I wanted to be. The journey ahead beckoned, and in July, I would embark on a quest to Italy to uncover my great-grandmother’s birth certificate. I’ve discovered that the women in my maternal line have a tendency to leave — leaving partners, families, and homes behind in search of something better or a new place to call home, even if they’re unsure of what they’re seeking.

For more on this journey of self-discovery and motherhood, you might find our other post interesting here. If you’re interested in home insemination, check out Make a Mom’s BabyMaker for a reliable option, or explore the NHS resource on IVF for further insights.

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In summary, my unexpected journey to Puerto Rico rekindled my adventurous spirit and offered me a chance to redefine my identity as a mother and traveler. While I may never return to my former self, I now have the opportunity to discover who I am becoming.

Keyphrase: Travel and Self-Discovery

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