I Won’t Allow My White Sons to Forget George Floyd: A Lifelong Commitment

As a parent, I often grapple with anxiety about the harsh realities my children will face in the world. What actions can we take? After spending years as a journalist focused on racial and economic inequalities in education, I transitioned to caregiving, where my influence on awareness now occurs within the walls of my home. My sons were only 4 and 6 when George Floyd was tragically killed by a white police officer, but I chose to discuss the incident openly with them.

We examined photos of Floyd’s daughter, Gianna, who is the same age as my older boy. We watched the live coverage of Derek Chauvin’s trial and read articles detailing the involvement of the other officers. This presents a contradiction in my parenting approach: my husband and I carefully screen every form of entertainment our sons engage with for age-appropriateness and violence. Now 6 and 8, they remain blissfully unaware of most curse words, and we’ve been cautious about discussing sexual matters. I delayed talking about the war in Ukraine for weeks after it began. In stark contrast, I’ve introduced discussions about slavery and the Civil Rights Movement through books and videos since they were toddlers. Why do I do this? Because complacency allows racist systems to persist across generations. This is why I refuse to let my sons forget George Floyd.

Following Floyd’s death, many white parents had to confront racism with their children for the first time. In contrast, Black parents often have to repeatedly convey “the talk” about the harsh realities their children face. Disparities in opportunities often stem from prenatal care, parental leave, and early childhood education, leading to significant gaps by the time children reach elementary school.

In her book, How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks, Melinda Wenner Moyer highlights research showing that teaching white children to be colorblind can backfire, leading to the development of racial biases as they try to navigate their surroundings. Instead, it’s crucial to engage in these discussions directly; white children require exposure to diverse settings and chances to form interracial friendships. Parents are also encouraged to educate themselves about racism and reflect on their own biases. Mistakes will be made along the way.

It’s challenging to watch my sons grapple with distressing truths, such as when they read a passage in Born on the Water, a children’s book from The 1619 Project that discusses slavery. My younger son, at just 4 years old, asked poignant questions: “When the not-polite police officer’s knee was on George Floyd’s neck, was the blood still flowing through his body until it stopped?” He even wondered who lived a fuller life, Mr. Floyd or my mother, who passed away from cancer at 66. I explained that while my mother faced her struggles, she lived two decades longer than Floyd and we had the chance to say goodbye to her. He also expressed concern over how the police might treat a Black boy in his preschool class. The recent racist attack at a Buffalo supermarket left me grappling with its horrific details. As my white sons mature into white men, I strive to help them recognize our shared humanity while embracing differences. I want them to view their privileges — of race, class, and gender — as responsibilities. In moments of despair, I recommit to learning, confronting my discomfort, and making intentional efforts daily. This is part of my lifelong duty as a white parent, to teach my children to stand up for what is right.

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In summary, it is crucial for parents, especially white ones, to actively engage their children in conversations about race and inequality, ensuring that painful truths are not forgotten, and fostering a sense of responsibility towards a more equitable world.

Keyphrase: George Floyd and Parenting

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