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As a parent, you might question whether to assign chores to your anxious tween or teen, especially during challenging times — and many kids are indeed facing difficulties today. Here’s what you should consider.
Your adolescent may not be eager to take on household tasks. Nevertheless, giving them manageable chores can relieve some of your burden while instilling a sense of responsibility. With rising rates of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues, especially amid the ongoing pandemic, you might wonder if it’s best to lighten their load altogether.
While it’s crucial to allow your child the space to recuperate, one psychologist suggests that involving them in household chores can create structure, fostering feelings of achievement and boosting their confidence.
The Significance of Chores
“Chores are essential for tweens and teens dealing with mental health challenges as they provide a sense of mastery and accomplishment,” explains Dr. Emily Carter, a psychologist based in San Francisco. “They offer a sense of routine, which can alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression at all ages.” Dr. Carter emphasizes that children will sense if you begin to treat them differently out of concern. It’s vital for them to feel like they’re just like their peers, despite the mental health struggles they may be facing.
However, during emotionally turbulent times, you shouldn’t adopt a strict approach regarding chores. “It’s important to be flexible as a parent and take individual circumstances into account,” Dr. Carter notes. If your child is overwhelmed, consider having a collaborative discussion to problem-solve. For instance, they might skip their regular chores for a week but contribute to a specific task on the weekend.
Assigning Age-Appropriate Chores
When assigning chores, it’s important to consider your child’s developmental stage. Dr. Carter advises, “Younger children typically thrive on light or ‘fun’ chores, like putting away their toys, while older kids can handle more independent tasks, such as vacuuming or helping with laundry.”
If your tween or teen isn’t completing assigned chores, it might be due to underlying issues rather than typical adolescent defiance. Dr. Carter suggests approaching the topic with kindness and understanding. “Use a gentle yet assertive tone. You can say, ‘I realize you’re having a tough time. I’d like you to continue taking out the trash daily, but if it becomes too much, please let me know so we can figure something out.’”
To facilitate success, consider implementing reminders, checklists, or visual aids. “Visual cues can be very beneficial for kids,” Dr. Carter recommends. “You might also pair chores with enjoyable activities, such as listening to music or working alongside a family member.”
Should You Offer Rewards?
If you’re uncertain about rewarding your child for completing chores, Dr. Carter supports small incentives if they fit your family’s values. “An allowance can teach children the connection between effort and reward while fostering a sense of accomplishment,” she states. “Research shows that incentivizing behavior can be very effective for kids and teens.”
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In summary, involving your anxious tween or teen in household chores can provide structure and a sense of achievement, contributing positively to their mental health. While flexibility is key, having open conversations about responsibilities can foster collaboration and understanding.
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