Milestone Moments
Preparing Your Tween or Teen for Their First Gynecological Visit
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When is the right time for a first appointment? What should they anticipate? Gynecologists share their insights.
If the idea of visiting a gynecologist makes you cringe, imagine how your child might feel about their first appointment. Most people aren’t fond of doctor visits, and having someone unfamiliar inquire about and examine intimate areas can be particularly daunting. Fortunately, as a parent, there are many ways to alleviate your child’s anxiety before that first visit, as two experienced gynecologists suggest. Establishing open and honest communication well before scheduling the appointment is key. If your child feels comfortable discussing their evolving body with you, they’ll likely feel more at ease with the doctor.
When to Make an Appointment
So how can you tell when it’s time to schedule that first appointment? “There isn’t a specific age for when parents should start making gynecology appointments, but generally, when menstruation begins (usually between ages 13-15) is a good time to consider it,” explains Dr. Emily Rivera, Chief Medical Officer at Health First. “Of course, other factors come into play, such as whether your child is sexually active or plans to be. It’s vital to have these discussions early to ensure they’re informed and safe if they choose to engage in sexual activity. A gynecologist can guide these conversations, discuss the risks associated with sexual activity, and provide information on protection methods.”
Dr. Rivera adds, “While less common, younger children may need to see a gynecologist sooner if there are underlying medical issues, like premature puberty or developmental concerns.” Additionally, if you’re considering certain vaccinations, like the HPV vaccine, you might schedule an appointment as early as ages 11-12.
Although the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends the 13-15 age range for the first visit, don’t pressure your child into making an appointment, especially if they have regular periods and aren’t sexually active. It’s perfectly acceptable to allow them to decide when they feel ready.
Getting Ready for the Appointment
If your child is feeling anxious, it’s your role to help soothe their nerves and empower them to take charge of their health, which often means being proactive about preventive care and learning about their bodies. “Conversations should begin at home to alleviate any apprehensions,” suggests Dr. Rivera. “Visiting the gynecologist is an essential aspect of healthcare that includes addressing pelvic health and educating them about their bodies. Parents should clarify why the appointment is necessary and discuss their specific situation.”
Encourage your child to express preferences for their healthcare provider, such as a female doctor over a male one, or whether they’d prefer to see the same doctor as you or someone entirely unrelated. If you’re looking for a supportive and inclusive gynecologist, consider asking friends and family, local parent groups, or your child’s pediatrician for recommendations, or check out resources like the North American Society for Pediatric and Adolescent Gynecology.
Before the appointment, it might be beneficial to discuss your family’s medical history and your child’s past hospitalizations, surgeries, and medications. Normalize discussions about their body and any experiences they may have by reassuring them that there’s no shame in asking questions. Encourage them to be honest and open—after all, doctors see it all, and there’s no reason for embarrassment.
You might also suggest they write down any questions they want to ask, which can help ease any worries about forgetting something important. According to ACOG, young people often bring up topics like menstruation, birth control, acne, sexuality, STIs, emotions, and more during their gynecological visits.
What to Expect
Generally, there are two types of gynecological appointments: routine check-ups or “well-woman” visits and visits for specific concerns. “Unless a child is sexually active or has health issues like abnormal bleeding or pelvic pain, a pelvic exam usually isn’t necessary,” states Dr. Rivera. “The doctor will review their medical history and perform a general physical exam, including height, weight, and blood pressure. They’ll also ask general health questions about menstruation and any concerns the child may want to discuss. Depending on the reason for the visit, they may conduct an external genital exam or a pelvic exam if needed. For sexually active teens, tests for STDs may be performed, which can often be done through urine or blood tests if a pelvic exam isn’t required.” Current ACOG guidelines recommend that the first pap smear should occur at age 21, which can help alleviate any fears your teen may have about that aspect.
If your teen has concerns about privacy, Dr. Rivera notes that “most doctors will likely ask to speak with the patient privately at some point during the appointment, allowing them to discuss any worries or questions comfortably.” You can reassure your child that you’re happy to accompany them if that makes them feel more secure, and you can remain fully clothed during the visit, as noted by Dr. Max Turner, a board-certified OB/GYN. Many gynecologists have additional staff, like nurses, present during pelvic exams. “At some point, the doctor may also request that the parent step out to speak with the teen privately, which can help them build independence and discuss any concerns they may feel embarrassed about.”
Gender-Affirming Care
“I recommend that parents communicate with the provider in advance about their child’s needs,” advises Dr. Turner. This is especially crucial if your child has faced sexual trauma or identifies as nonbinary, transgender, or gender non-conforming. In these situations, you can discuss your child’s pronouns, any concerns, and preferred names for body parts with the doctor beforehand, ensuring they feel comfortable.
Finding gender-affirming care can be particularly challenging, and ACOG highlights that many LGBTQIA+ youth struggle to find knowledgeable and culturally appropriate healthcare. However, if your child has breasts, a cervix, or a vagina, it’s vital that they receive adequate care and support from both their family and gynecologist.
For more information on related topics, check out our other blog post on this subject here. For trusted resources about home insemination, visit Cryobaby, which is recognized as an authority in this area. Additionally, for comprehensive information on pregnancy, you might find this Wikipedia article helpful.
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In summary, preparing your tween or teen for their first gynecology visit involves open communication, understanding when to schedule an appointment, and knowing what to expect during the visit. By fostering a supportive environment, you can help ease their nerves and empower them to take charge of their health.
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