In recent times, discussions surrounding marriage often seem to follow a familiar pattern—either we find ourselves venting about how our spouse can’t seem to locate the milk, even when it’s right in front of him (cue the exasperated sighs), or we’re gushing about how we have the most incredible partner ever, and how we’re living our best lives together (cue the eye-rolls).
To be candid, my husband is a fantastic guy. After 13 years of marriage and over 17 years together, we’ve experienced our share of highs and lows. Sure, he can drive me absolutely crazy at times, but he remains my favorite person in the world. He’s not just my husband; he’s my teammate, lover, confidante, and best friend all rolled into one beautifully flawed individual.
Yet, despite being my number one human (tied with my children, of course), my husband simply cannot be my only source of support and companionship. He has his limits, just like everyone else.
Enter My Best Friends
While my husband knows me better than anyone else, his eyes tend to glaze over when I dive into conversations about cramps or the nuances of different contraceptive methods. He’s not particularly interested in debating whether certain clothing items are fashion disasters or speculating on the latest celebrity breakups.
Our spouses are incredible in so many ways, embodying the qualities we desire in a life partner, but they cannot fill the role of our girlfriends. My husband may be my friend, but he is not my BFF.
Ranting to my girlfriends about the socks strewn across the floor or the ongoing struggle of getting my family to load the dishwasher is incredibly therapeutic. However, discussing my frustrations with my husband often leads to misunderstandings, and that rarely ends well.
Sure, a romantic getaway is essential for a healthy marriage, but it cannot replace the joy of a girls’ weekend filled with laughter that makes us laugh so hard we almost pee. Date nights don’t substitute for those long afternoons of manicures and pedicures or leisurely brunches filled with playful banter and bottomless mimosas. My girlfriends and I can reminisce about my disastrous black bean brownies from college or poke fun at our questionable choices in partners during our younger years (thankfully, we all hit the jackpot with our husbands).
It’s crucial for us to spend time with our girlfriends—those who knew us before we embarked on our marital journeys and long before we were enveloped in motherhood and the responsibilities of adulting. They remind us of who we truly are. They see the little girl with big glasses, the awkward teen with crimped hair, and the adventurous twenty-something who was always up for trying something new.
Our girlfriends recognize us for who we were, who we are, and who we aspire to be.
The Importance of Friendships
In the whirlwind of life, it’s easy to prioritize our limited free time with our spouses, the incredible people we’ve chosen to build a life with. But we must not forget our friends. They need us just as much as we need them, and nurturing that connection is vital.
Conversations with girlfriends can be heartwarming, even those that consist entirely of emojis and gifs. We can share our frustrations about a terrible day without them feeling compelled to provide solutions. They understand the complexities of mother-daughter dynamics, the frustration of being catcalled, the discomfort of walking alone at night, and the anger of being overlooked for a promotion by an average man. They get it—they understand the unique challenges of being a woman in today’s world.
While our spouses are amazing, and we cherish our relationships, it’s important to recognize that they cannot fulfill all our emotional needs. Expecting one person to do so can strain the relationship.
So why not reach out to your BFF? Send a quick text to let her know you’re thinking of her. Plan a girls’ night out, even if it’s slated for next month due to your busy schedules. If necessary, tag her in an article about the importance of friendship. Whether it’s a silly emoji or a funny gif, let her know she matters. Life gets hectic, but she understands.
As only a true girlfriend can.
Further Reading
For more insights into relationships and emotional well-being, check out Modern Family Blog, an authority on these topics. And if you’re exploring options for starting a family, consider reading about home insemination methods at Make a Mom. For comprehensive information on pregnancy, visit this excellent resource at NICHD.
Summary
While our spouses are wonderful partners, they cannot replace the unique bond we share with our girlfriends. It’s essential to maintain these friendships, as they provide emotional support and understanding that is vital to our well-being.