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Your Children Must Learn How to Properly Wash Their Hair. Seriously.
Here’s our approach to managing the haircare madness. Written by Lisa Thompson Updated: Feb. 20, 2024 Originally Published: April 28, 2022 FG Trade/E+/Getty Images
It’s another day, another shower, and yet another 20 minutes spent wrestling with my two daughters’ gorgeous — but vastly different — hair. If you’re a mom of tweens (or have been one), you know the struggle is real: Their bodies are changing, they’re asserting their independence, but they still require help, whether they like it or not. In my household, this results in total chaos.
One of them hops out of the shower, and I often have to send her right back in because she still has product lingering in her hair. No matter how much dry shampoo I use or how little conditioner I apply, her hair always seems to have a greasy sheen. I can’t even count how many times I’ve explained that over-washing can be just as detrimental as not washing enough, but my pleas always fall on deaf ears. This routine seems to repeat itself every time. But honestly, she’s the easier one of the two.
Her sister, however, is a completely different story. No matter how gently I shampoo her scalp or how much conditioning and detangling product I use, combing and drying her hair turns into a wrestling match every single time. It looks like she’s just come out of a carwash, hair flying everywhere. It’s always tangled and knotted, and I simply don’t understand why, or how, it gets that way.
Managing each daughter’s hair (and their feelings about it) would be enough of a challenge, but I’m also dealing with two distinct hair types: one has thick, full hair prone to dandruff, while the other has fine, wavy hair that tangles easily. What’s a mom to do? Well, here’s what has worked (at least enough to get us out the door) for me.
The Fundamentals
We all know the basics of shampooing and conditioning regularly, but it’s important to remember that one size doesn’t fit all. I could use the same products for my kids that I do for myself, but our hair has different needs.
I’ve been coloring and highlighting my hair for 17 years, plus I occasionally use flat irons and curlers (when I’m feeling fancy). While my shampoo and conditioner could technically work for my little ones, they won’t promote the healthiest hair and scalp for them.
“One thing I really wish moms knew about their tweens (and teens) is the correct amounts of products to use. So many kids come in with buildup from using too much product or not rinsing properly,” says hairstylist Sarah D.
Essential Products
While some of these may seem obvious, we want to ensure you have all your bases covered so managing your tween’s hair doesn’t end up driving you mad.
- Shampoo: They probably don’t need the same heavy-duty hydrating or thickening products you use, but it’s still crucial to read the labels. Cleaner ingredients are usually better for hair and scalp health. Sarah emphasizes that “washing hair is VERY important. Even with the rise of the anti-shampoo movement, using a quality shampoo and scrubbing your scalp is key for skin and scalp health!”
- Conditioners: Who doesn’t want silky, smooth hair? While most do, those who don’t apply the right amount of conditioner in the right spots won’t achieve that magical slow-motion twirl. It’s essential to know that you don’t need to slather conditioner from roots to ends. With the hormonal changes your tween is facing, adding extra moisture to the roots could lead to greasy hair by 2 PM.
- Detanglers and Wet Brushes: I can’t count how many times my fine, wavy-haired daughter has had a meltdown over brushing out her knots after a shower. Using a detangler and a wet brush has been a lifesaver for both my patience and her delicate scalp. Detangler is self-explanatory; a wet brush has more flexible bristles that gently comb through tangled hair when it’s wet.
- Scrub Brushes: This little tool is probably the most exciting thing I’ve discovered since my tweens started washing their own hair. It’s just a small plastic scrubber with flexible bristles that your tween can use in the shower to stimulate their scalp while ensuring they’re rinsing all the shampoo out of their hair. “If parents feel like their kid’s hair isn’t getting clean enough, a scrubber can help. They’re also great for addressing those forehead pimples that often result from excess oil in the hair,” Sarah adds.
While this isn’t an exhaustive list, these essentials have been a game-changer for my tweens. As they move toward more independence, ensuring they know how to care for their hair is a vital step. Take it from someone who has put her hair through a lot over the years; empowering your tweens to take control of their haircare is an important milestone. After all, hair can be a powerful form of self-expression and a lot of fun.
This article was originally published on April 28, 2022.