My Buy Nothing Group Became the Parenting Support Network I Didn't Realize I Needed

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My Buy Nothing Group Became the Parenting Support Network I Didn’t Realize I Needed

It’s a fresh form of inheritance, one that flows not through individual families, but through a community.

By Lila Morgan

A few years back, a friend in Seattle mentioned, “I have to grab a Pack-and-Play I got from my Buy Nothing Group.” At that time, these groups hadn’t reached my area in the Midwest, so I had to do some digging. Little did I know how impactful these communities would be in my life.

Founded in 2013, the Buy Nothing Project aims to create a space for giving and trading without the exchange of money. Primarily organized through Facebook groups, these communities thrive on conversation and a lack of obligations. When you share something you wish to give away, there’s no pressure to hand it over to the first person who responds. You can also ask for items that you may currently need. These groups are hyper-local (mine focuses on a specific zip code), allowing participants to connect closely with their immediate neighborhoods.

When our local Buy Nothing Group first appeared on Facebook, I was taken aback by how quickly I bonded with it. Most members were moms, and the items shared were always intriguing: baby bottle drying racks, foot splints, sets of play shoes, and well-loved little red wagons. One time, I accidentally received a large bag of onions from a grocery order and ended up making a delicious French onion soup that evening (after chatting with the giver about her son’s ESL classes and my daughter’s obsession with My Little Pony). The offerings ranged from tiny (a Ziploc full of unused stickers) to large (bunk beds complete with a ladder), all shared with the hope that these items could find new life in another home.

I once gifted a collection of board books to a newly expectant mom. In return, she sent me a proud photo of her nursery. This fall, I made reusable fabric snack bags and distributed them just before school started; one of the recipients turned out to be my daughter’s classmate. I also shared a large print of a seagull soaring over the ocean, a cherished memory from a favorite trip. When I asked group members to share their favorite beach memories to receive the print, I was inundated with stories of honeymoons and family vacations. After the chosen recipient picked up the artwork, she revealed it would hang in her aging parents’ downsized home, serving as a reminder of all the travels still to come. In gratitude, she left a surprise package of homemade brownies on my porch.

I’ve also received countless items through my Buy Nothing Group. From an old electronic jump rope that kept us entertained during long winters to matching ceramic fox mugs my daughter loves for her hot chocolate, the generosity has been heartwarming. A member even dropped off a playhouse that quickly became one of my daughter’s favorite pretend spots. Once, I picked up cookies from a local baker who had made too many tulip-shaped snickerdoodles for an event. While her kids played in the yard, neighbors stopped by to collect beautifully wrapped cookies for their families. This simple interaction during the pandemic made us feel a tad more connected.

Occasionally, I bump into another parent who beams and says, “Oh, yes — you gifted us the dot markers my son uses every day.” We remember each other’s names and keep track of the little details in our lives. I once posted a request for Descendants decorations for my daughter’s birthday party. Although no one had any, a few days later, someone tagged me in a post featuring a red Descendants sweatshirt. “Didn’t you mention your daughter liked Descendants?” That shirt has become a treasured item in her wardrobe.

The most poignant posts often revolve around loss. Sometimes, someone will offer unused dog food or a heat lamp for a chameleon, grieving for pets that have passed while also hoping to ease another member’s burden. These posts attract an outpouring of sympathy. New mothers might post requests for a sleepsuit, with other parents chiming in with tips for newborn sleep. Occasionally, moms with older children will list truck-patterned bedsheets or a princess lunchbox, sighing, “I guess we don’t need these anymore.”

What sets a Buy Nothing Group apart from platforms like Facebook Marketplace is that admins encourage members to keep their requests and gifts visible in the feed, even after the exchange. This transforms the group into a living chronicle of how we’ve supported one another over the years. As I scroll through old posts, I see how many items have been passed around. I envision children playing with toys that were once loved by others, then passing them along again. It’s a new form of inheritance, one that flows not through individual families, but through an entire community.

The internet can often be a harsh place. However, a Buy Nothing Group is a reminder that, alongside the tangible items that make life more enjoyable, we all have something to offer, even if it’s just a few kind words. We all need care, especially as parents, and sometimes, that support can come from the most unexpected sources.

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Summary:

My experience with a Buy Nothing Group transformed my understanding of community support as a parent. Through giving and receiving, sharing stories, and connecting with my neighbors, I discovered a new form of inheritance that transcends individual families. The group became a vital source of support, reminding me that we all have something to offer and that kindness can come from unexpected places.

Keyphrase: Buy Nothing Group as Parenting Support

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