I’m so drained that tears threaten to spill, but even that seems like too much effort. Days like this are exhausting — the kind where you feel completely empty before you even rise from bed. Forget a simple redo button; I’d settle for one that allows me to erase today from existence altogether.
Last night was a chaotic whirlwind, wrangling my three children who had decided against sleep. My youngest, a restless little one, preferred nursing over catching some much-needed ZZZs. Meanwhile, my two older kids joined the fray. At one point, my oldest was wailing because his pillow had slipped off the bed, while the other was in a meltdown over wanting a second glass of water. I felt like a pinball, bouncing around the room as I tried to coax them back to slumber.
Waking up for the final time, I could sense the heaviness in the air. Today was destined to be one of those dark days — the kind where everything seems to spiral out of control. Patience is in short supply, and surviving feels like an uphill battle.
Just an hour into the day, I had already intervened in three squabbles, issued a timeout, and witnessed some of the most absurd tantrums. One of my boys was in tears because his shorts lacked pockets. The other was having a fit because I dared to cut his apple into slices. They both joined forces in a protest against my breakfast menu, deciding that food was better suited for the floor than their plates. FML. Not a single smile graced our faces today.
Did I mention how utterly exhausted I am? Typically, I muster the energy to shift the mood and create a fun moment, whether through a spontaneous dance party or a silly game. But today? I just didn’t have it in me.
Even coffee felt ineffective, merely a habit at this point, as I longed for something stronger but knew it was too early for wine. Despite my better judgment, I mustered my last ounce of strength to venture outside, hoping the fresh air would lift our spirits. A trip to the park seemed like the perfect escape for my boys’ boundless energy. Typically, this would work wonders. But not today.
We barely lasted 15 minutes before chaos erupted over a toy one of them discovered, leading to a screaming match and a swift exit. We didn’t even touch a single piece of equipment. Only my little ones could turn a playground into a scene of misery. Who doesn’t have fun at a park?
I recognize there’s no remedy for such a day, except for it to end. Everyone’s on edge, and I can’t fathom how to survive until nap time, let alone bedtime.
We all encounter these dark days — at least I hope I’m not the only one. Energy is scarce, and even stringing together coherent thoughts feels like a monumental task.
On days like these, I embarrassingly find myself reminiscing about my previous job, wishing for a break. I long for family or friends nearby to lend a helping hand, even if just to catch my breath. These are the days that no one prepares you for when you enter parenthood — days filled with an overwhelming sense of exhaustion that makes it hard to care for high-energy, demanding little humans. Days when you just want to throw in the towel before even starting.
No one talks about feeling utterly alone amidst the constant presence of little ones. Days when your ability to engage or enjoy the moment is overshadowed by sheer fatigue. These are the days when your children seem to test every boundary, resulting in endless conflict and frustration. Days that drag on painfully, leaving you yearning for them to end so you can forget they ever happened.
These are the moments when guilt weighs heavily on my heart. The days I dream of curling up in a ball and hibernating until the chaos passes. Days when one more mishap feels like it could shatter my fragile world. Days when time stretches endlessly, and I catch myself wishing for my partner to come home and rescue me, even if I feel embarrassed to ask for help. Days filled with relentless yelling and whining that would drive anyone to the edge.
I hesitate to share these experiences for fear of judgment. Did I not know what I was getting into with three kids? Yes, I did, but doesn’t everyone deserve a bad day? Thankfully, these moments are few and far between, and I’m not ashamed to admit they happen. I’m neither a bad mom nor a bad person. I love my kids and our family, but life is messy. Motherhood is far from perfect, and so am I — and that’s perfectly okay.
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Summary: Motherhood can be overwhelming, especially on those dark days when everything seems to go wrong. Amidst the chaos of toddler tantrums and exhaustion, it’s important to recognize that it’s okay to have tough days. Sharing these experiences can help others feel less alone in their parenting struggles.