When it comes to listing something undesirable on Craigslist or Facebook, many people instinctively embellish the item’s qualities to make it seem more appealing. However, one woman has chosen to take an entirely different approach: she’s being refreshingly candid in her quest to rehome her troublesome rooster.
Meet Sarah Johnson, who raises chickens but has reached her limit with one particularly obnoxious rooster. Her Facebook post seeking a new home for this feathered fiend is nothing short of a hilarious cry for help. The sleep deprivation she endures thanks to this raucous bird is palpable in her brutally honest description.
“FREE to a good home. Well, honestly, I don’t care where he goes at this point: ASSHOLE ROOSTER!” the post begins with a striking lack of sugarcoating. From there, it only gets more amusing as she describes the rooster’s singular talent.
“He’s the ideal rooster if your alarm clock has broken and you need to wake up at 5:30 a.m. That’s his one and only setting. He doesn’t have a snooze button, but he will pause long enough for you to drift back into a light sleep, only to resume his obnoxious crowing right outside your window.”
Sound familiar? It’s almost like having a toddler with no regard for your need for extra sleep.
“It’s as if he can pinpoint your exact sleeping location and has some sort of X-ray vision that allows him to see through walls,” she humorously adds.
To be fair, Sarah does attempt to highlight some silver linings about owning this mostly insufferable creature. “He’s also great if you want to start a running routine… around your yard… while trying to escape him. He doesn’t charge at me anymore because he’s now an instructor of interpretive dance.”
Running and dancing? What a deal!
“Or at least that’s how I imagine it looked as I flailed around, trying to shoo him away while yelling and waving a mop in his direction.”
Overall, Sarah pitches her rooster as the ultimate alarm clock, personal trainer, and dance coach—all for the low price of FREE! The only stipulation?
“You’ll have to come and catch this little monster yourself, and I want to see your first interpretive dance lesson!”
So, if you’re in the market for a unique addition to your home that will ensure you never sleep in again, this rooster might be your perfect match. Good luck to Sarah, and let’s hope her next chapter is a little less chaotic!
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Summary
A woman named Sarah Johnson is seeking a new home for her troublesome rooster, humorously detailing the bird’s obnoxious habits in her Facebook post. This candid approach highlights the challenges of dealing with an insufferable pet while also providing some comic relief for fellow parents.