Navigating the Drift of Friendship: A Guide

Friendships can naturally fade over time, especially when life transitions, such as becoming a parent, take center stage. In this piece, we’ll explore how to handle the emotional fallout of a friendship that seems to be slipping away.

Recently, friendship expert Ava Martinez, author of the upcoming book Connections: Understanding the Dynamics of Friendship, shared an intriguing insight: “Friendships often dissolve not due to major conflicts but because one party simply stops reaching out.” This sentiment resonates deeply for parents, who may find their social circles changing dramatically. Once, you might have enjoyed carefree outings with friends, but as your focus shifts to things like selecting the right brand of juice boxes for school events, your time for casual connections diminishes.

Life happens, and these changes can be perplexing. Studies indicate that in just seven years, up to 70% of close friendships can diminish, with 52% of our social networks fading away. Women, in particular, may feel the weight of this loss more acutely; research shows that negative interactions with friends can elevate blood pressure in women, whereas men do not experience the same effect.

So what can you do when a friendship fades? Here are some strategies:

Avoid Blame and Personalization
It’s essential to recognize that friendships can fade for numerous reasons, often unrelated to personal shortcomings. For example, the COVID-19 pandemic led to 43% of women aged 18-29 losing touch with friends. Changes in jobs, neighborhoods, or life circumstances can also cause friendships to drift. Instead of viewing the situation as a personal rejection, remember that life as a parent often leaves little room for socializing.
Accept What You Have
The saying about friends for a reason, a season, or a lifetime may seem cliché, but it holds truth. To minimize heartache, avoid imposing expectations on your friendships. If you sense some distance, adjust your expectations and appreciate the moments you do share. Instead of questioning their responses or the nature of your connection, shift your mindset to acceptance.
Leverage Social Media
Though it may seem odd, maintaining visibility into a friend’s life through social media can be a blessing. While scrolling through updates may not replace face-to-face interactions, it does allow you to stay connected and informed about their lives, which wasn’t possible for previous generations.
Mind Your Mutual Connections
If a friendship is waning, be considerate of mutual friends. Avoid putting them in uncomfortable positions, such as asking if they’ve heard from the friend or venting about the distance. This behavior can easily shift the narrative from “life happens” to “what a jerk,” complicating the situation further.
Keep the Door Open for Future Connections
Life is unpredictable, and relationships can rekindle unexpectedly. For example, I once lost touch with a friend from college, but after a decade, we reconnected through social media and have since built a new friendship. Similarly, I had another friend with whom I lost contact, but a simple message on Instagram led to renewed conversations.

Ultimately, remember that past friendships often carry residual goodwill, and if circumstances change, there’s potential for reconnection. Whether it’s through a brief message or a casual meet-up, friendships can often be reignited.

If you’re interested in more insights on relationships and parenthood, check out this other blog post here. Additionally, for more resources on home insemination, visit Make a Mom.

Summary:

Friendships can fade for various reasons, especially during life transitions like parenthood. Understanding the dynamics of friendship loss, practicing acceptance, leveraging social media, and being considerate of mutual friends can help navigate these changes. Remember, past connections may still hold potential for future rekindling, so stay open to possibilities.

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