The Importance of Thank You Notes in Parenting

I firmly believe in the value of teaching my children the art of writing thank you notes. In a world where manners sometimes seem to be fading, instilling gratitude is a non-negotiable part of raising polite individuals.

I don’t often hold fast to strict parenting rules, preferring a more flexible approach as I navigate the challenges of parenthood. However, there is one principle I stand by: the necessity of sending thank you notes. If someone does something kind for us, they deserve a heartfelt acknowledgment, and I’m committed to ensuring my kids understand this essential aspect of being gracious.

I can already hear the dissenters—many argue that handwritten notes are becoming obsolete. Over the past few decades, the tradition of expressing gratitude through these notes has diminished, and I believe that society is missing out as a result.

As a child of the ’80s and ’90s, I was fortunate enough to have many loving relatives who celebrated special occasions with thoughtful gifts. My parents, aware of the stereotype surrounding only children, emphasized the importance of thank you notes. After birthdays and holidays, I would sit at the kitchen table, pen in hand, writing to everyone who had given me a present.

Did I enjoy it at the time? Not particularly; I was more interested in playing with my new toys. But looking back, I am incredibly grateful that my parents instilled this practice in me.

Research shows a clear connection between gratitude and happiness. By encouraging my children to express gratitude, I hope to cultivate an appreciation for the kindness they receive from others. I notice the little things that bring joy—whether it’s someone holding a door open, a teacher going the extra mile, or a friend bringing flowers. This mindset becomes especially valuable during tough times.

My partner and I have implemented a straightforward thank you note policy for our kids. If someone gifts them something for their birthday, they send a thank you note regardless of whether the giver was present at the time. Even during the busy holiday season, we make sure to express gratitude to everyone who contributed, ensuring no one feels overlooked.

In the early years, we wrote the notes for our children. Now that they’re older, we provide them with fun stationery and stamps, making the process enjoyable. They’ve grown accustomed to this tradition and understand its significance without resistance.

To keep track of gifts, I maintain a list on the fridge, noting who gave what, so we can ensure every gesture is acknowledged. Interestingly, our seven-year-old has taken to writing letters to relatives, often surprising me with notes he wants to send.

Yes, writing thank you notes can be time-consuming, especially when they are young. But I believe taking a moment to acknowledge someone’s kindness is worth the effort. Writing these notes not only helps them practice their writing skills but also encourages reflection on the joy that comes from receiving a gift.

I worry that neglecting to express gratitude could foster a sense of entitlement in my children. I want them to grow up appreciating generosity and recognizing the importance of acknowledgment.

While some may find texting a thank you or sending a photo of their child with a gift sufficient, I believe in the traditional note. Our family will continue to uphold this time-honored practice, hoping it instills values of gratitude and kindness that my children will carry into adulthood.

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Summary

Teaching children the importance of writing thank you notes fosters gratitude and appreciation for the kindness they receive. By instilling this practice early on, parents can help their kids develop a respectful outlook towards generosity, ensuring they grow into gracious adults.

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