Did I Just Pee Myself?

You’ve probably heard someone say, “I need to pee every two seconds!” While it’s an exaggeration for many, including myself, it’s not entirely untrue. For two years, I’ve been plagued by a persistent feeling that I need to relieve myself. When I shared this with others, their giggles followed with the notion that it was just a side effect of motherhood. For a time, I believed them. My son had been a hefty baby, tipping the scales at nearly 10 pounds, but that couldn’t fully explain my predicament. It was 15 months after giving birth, and I was doing well overall. There had to be more to it.

I scheduled a visit with my general practitioner, and together, we speculated that it might be a typical UTI. After two rounds of antibiotics, the tests came back negative. Next, we considered the possibility of a kidney stone, but a CAT scan ruled that out. Then we ventured into more alarming territory, contemplating ovarian and bladder cancer. After numerous tests and consultations with two urologists, the final verdict from modern medicine was dishearteningly simple: “You’re fine. Just do a Kegel.”

But I wasn’t fine, and I didn’t need a Kegel—perhaps a bagel, but not a Kegel. What I truly required was for someone to genuinely listen to me, to acknowledge the concerns I was voicing rather than dismissing them as a mere Kegel case. After months of frustration, tears, and feeling ignored by nearly all of my doctors, someone finally listened. Oddly enough, it was my chiropractor, Dr. Lila Thompson, who, after hearing my symptoms and the treatments I’d undergone, suggested that I was likely suffering from pelvic floor dysfunction. Until that moment, no one had even mentioned the pelvic floor to me.

Not only did I discover that the pelvic floor was a real entity, but there are physical therapists specifically trained to address these kinds of issues. Experts like M.S. Sarah Johnson, founder of the Core Recovery Center, mentioned that she frequently encounters women with problems similar to mine, often feeling overlooked or mistreated.

“This outdated approach of ‘just do Kegels’ as a universal solution for pelvic floor issues has persisted for too long,” says Johnson. “Many women are misinformed and may even exacerbate their problems because of it.” According to her, one of the most common yet overlooked issues is a hypertonic pelvic floor.

“A hypertonic pelvic floor simply means there’s increased tone or tension,” Johnson explains. “When the muscles are too tight, they often struggle to contract effectively.” Symptoms can include discomfort during intercourse, leaking, difficulty with inhalation into the pelvic area, pelvic pain, constipation, and—let’s not forget—urgency.

In the Indianapolis area, every doctor seemed to suggest I strengthen my pelvic floor, but what I truly needed was to focus on releasing it. I had fallen victim to a pelvic floor identity crisis. People perceived me as someone with a hypotonic, Kegel-needing floor, when in reality, I was a candidate for a more relaxed approach. This confusion is common, but it doesn’t have to be the norm.

“Women often feel dismissed by healthcare providers when they voice concerns about their bodies,” Dr. Thompson notes. “I strive to be the physician who listens, shows empathy, and provides viable solutions for women seeking clarity about their health.”

Dr. Thompson not only listened but also took action. She recommended a treatment plan involving chiropractic care, massage therapy, and a referral to a pelvic floor physical therapist. While I still experience flare-ups occasionally, I am significantly better now. Once I manage to relax my pelvic floor, I can start thinking about rebuilding and strengthening it.

“It’s crucial to address hypertonic pelvic floors by releasing tension first,” Johnson states. “Often, this will reveal underlying pelvic floor weakness, but we can’t strengthen it until we achieve a full release and contraction.” When I’m ready to embark on that journey, I’ll be looking into programs like Johnson’s, which assist individuals like me in safely developing a robust and functional pelvic floor.

“It’s never too late to engage in recovery and heal your core and pelvic floor,” Johnson emphasizes. My advice to women facing similar challenges is to advocate for yourself. Persist until you find an expert who truly listens. Do your research, and if initial answers lead you nowhere, keep questioning.

“Listen to your body and trust your instincts,” Dr. Thompson advises. “Remember, pelvic floor issues aren’t ‘normal’; they’re ‘common,’ and no one should have to endure them.” Being a woman doesn’t mean you deserve to be ignored. Keep that in mind, and remember you have the right to travel without constant restroom breaks. Keep the conversation going—you’ll eventually find someone who will listen, just as I did.

Angela Hatem enjoys piña coladas, getting caught in the rain, and, of course, soft rock. Raised in Homestead, FL, and now living in Indianapolis, IN, Angela embraces her single life with her son and all her not-so-single friends and family. She seeks humor whenever possible, and when she can’t find it, she checks under couch cushions for spare change.

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After struggling with persistent urinary urgency and feeling dismissed by healthcare providers, Angela discovers that her symptoms may actually stem from a hypertonic pelvic floor rather than a need for Kegel exercises. With the help of a chiropractor and specialized pelvic floor physical therapists, she learns the importance of releasing tension before strengthening her pelvic floor. Angela encourages other women facing similar issues to advocate for themselves and seek out knowledgeable professionals who will listen.

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