When I was in fifth grade, I initiated a club near the swing set. Each recess, we performed cheerleading routines, and for a brief 15 minutes between snack time and lunch, we were the vibrant Cat’s Pajamas. Our club quickly gained popularity, leading us to hold tryouts since our space was becoming crowded. After all, what’s the fun of a club if everyone can join?
One day, a classmate named Mia, who was black, showed up for tryouts. She was energetic, had a radiant smile, and could jump and cheer with the best of us. In my heart, I believed Mia belonged in our group. However, another girl informed me that Mia couldn’t join because the scent of her hair “bothered” others. She was different, and in that moment, easily influenced by those around me—or perhaps already harboring a hint of prejudice—I agreed to remove Mia’s name from the list.
The next day, I noticed Mia in tears during class, and a wave of guilt washed over me. I passed a note to my friend, questioning whether we had made a mistake. “Does Mia’s hair really bother you? Are you sure it isn’t something else?” Unfortunately, the teacher intercepted the note.
My teacher, a well-dressed black woman who always exuded grace, responded to my note with disappointment. She pulled me aside after class, and before she could speak, I found myself crying. “I just wanted everyone to be happy!” I exclaimed, trying to justify my actions.
“Was everyone happy?” she asked.
“No, Mia was definitely not happy.”
“And who else wasn’t happy?”
I realized it was me. In that moment, I learned a vital lesson: true happiness cannot come at the expense of others. I still feel a knot in my stomach when I think about how my actions affected a sweet girl who just wanted to belong. I am deeply ashamed of my behavior and the underlying heartache it caused. It’s irrelevant that we were just children. Cruelty is cruelty. Hate is hate. And unfortunately, hurt is hurt.
I share this story today to remind us, as parents, of the crucial role we play in shaping our children’s perspectives. It is our responsibility to nurture inclusivity, empathy, and kindness. We must engage our children in conversations about racism, sexism, and all forms of discrimination. We need to teach them how to embrace diversity while acknowledging that differences exist.
What we demonstrate in our homes will be reflected in the hearts and minds of our children. So today, I challenge all of us: how are our children interacting on the playground? In a blink, these playgrounds will transform into our society. We should aspire to raise children who are more compassionate, inclusive, and aware than we were. This journey begins with us, the parents, and it starts with acknowledging our mistakes: I was wrong, and I am truly sorry.
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In summary, as parents, we hold the power to shape a more inclusive and loving environment for our children. By confronting our biases and encouraging open dialogue about differences, we can foster a generation that values kindness and inclusivity.