Bridgerton: An Unexpected Source of Sex Education

The moment that took me out of the show—and left me feeling let down as a long-time fan of romance—was quite striking.

For over a decade, I had a unique book club with my grandmother, who was 90 years old. Together, we explored Regency romance novels, starting with the more innocent stories of Georgette Heyer before transitioning into the more risqué titles often labeled as “bodice rippers.” Even if you’re not a fan, you’ve likely seen these books in the drugstore or at the supermarket checkout, their enticing covers promising plenty of passion. We shared hundreds of these novels until she passed away in 2020 at nearly 101. My dad jokingly referred to me as her “dealer” because I brought her bags full of books that she was too shy to donate to her retirement home library.

I often called my grandmother to discuss her latest reads, prompting her to reflect on her own life and relationships. She claimed she didn’t read for the explicit content, saying “that button doesn’t work anymore, dear,” but rather for the intelligent depictions of familial and romantic connections. We spent hours analyzing different characters’ aspirations, disappointments, and what they evoked in her. These books served as a means for my grandmother to share nearly a century of life experiences.

However, for those of us who still resonate with “that button,” the steamy scenes can be quite appealing. Modern Regency romance novels, often dismissed as outdated, now overflow with themes of female empowerment and portrayals of feminist sexuality. They feature a plethora of male characters eager to prioritize their partners’ pleasure. To truly appreciate this evolution, check out Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches Guide to Romance Novels.

So, when Bridgerton premiered on Netflix in late 2020—produced by the acclaimed Shonda Rhimes, known for her strong female characters—I was thrilled. I believed she would honor both the fervor and feminist themes found in the novels.

Then came the moment that shocked me while watching the series with my 13-year-old daughter. During the pivotal scene where Daphne Bridgerton loses her virginity to the Duke of Hastings, I was taken aback. It wasn’t because of the explicit nature of the scene, but rather how Daphne was shown experiencing an orgasm with no attention to her needs or desires. I paused the show to ask my daughter, “What did they just show us?” She replied with cool composure, “Daphne having an orgasm.”

I pressed further, “Yes, but what did he need to find for her to really have that orgasm?” She matter-of-factly responded, “Her clitoris.” I was relieved—my efforts as a parent had paid off; she understood the basics of sexual anatomy.

But I was also frustrated, because I feared countless young viewers might take that scene as an accurate depiction of sex. It perpetuates the myth that sex is silent and effortless, missing the reality of awkwardness and humor that often accompanies first experiences. My grandmother understood this nuance, and it’s crucial we embrace it in discussions about sexuality.

As Season 2 of Bridgerton arrives, I sincerely hope it showcases the feminist sex education so prevalent in modern Regency romance. Next time I pause the series for a discussion with my daughter, I want to highlight what they got right instead of what they missed. And I can’t help but wish I could share this with my grandmother.

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In summary, while Bridgerton offers a visually captivating experience, it falls short in accurately representing the complexities of female pleasure and the realities of intimacy. It’s crucial for future discussions and portrayals to reflect a more realistic understanding of sexuality that includes humor, awkwardness, and mutual pleasure.

Keyphrase: Bridgerton and Sex Education

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