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As a parent, your dining experiences take on a whole new meaning. I vividly recall a piece of green pepper that tumbled from my pizza slice onto my nursing baby’s head. I scooped it up and ate it, much to my husband’s astonishment. We were now in the realm of toddler parenting, where survival dictates our culinary choices, and our once pristine dining habits have been completely overhauled. Fast forward to today: that little one is now a seven-year-old who despises green peppers and has three younger siblings. Our culinary adventures have expanded, with occasional visits to our favorite seafood restaurant or cozy nights of takeout chicken tikka masala. But more often than not, we find ourselves navigating the infamous Mom Menu—an ever-changing selection of “delicacies” that keep us on our toes.
Appetizers
- A nearly finished yogurt cup lid, with mixed berry remnants
- A pretzel stick, sans salt
- A roasted carrot piece that dared to touch ketchup
- A plastic hotdog bun, eagerly offered by a little one
- Cucumber slices that you reluctantly choose, knowing they’re safe from being snatched away
Not on the official menu is the Soup of the Day, a delightful concoction of room temperature cereal milk, rainbow-colored from Lucky Charms, served in a small plastic bowl with no spoon (the spoon has vanished into the depths of the kitchen).
Entrées
- Seedy bread crusts with traces of smooth peanut butter and grape jelly
- A cheeseburger, devoid of cheese and patty, merely nibbled at the bun
- A burrito loaded with everything, including black beans and corn salsa that no one touches unless you’re eating it
- Cold baked rosemary chicken with rice and broccoli, cut into bite-sized pieces and left untouched
- Whatever you can quickly find to eat during the fleeting four minutes your toddler is content in their high chair with a lime popsicle
Tonight’s entrée special is a remarkably artistic soft flour tortilla, featuring two holes bitten into it—an edible mask!
Desserts
- An ice cream sandwich, slightly dipped in the pool, hints of chlorine flavor
- An Oreo cookie, with its frosting scraped off
- A blueberry that miraculously survived its dark hiding spot on the hardwood floor
- The remnants at the bottom of a red velvet cupcake
- A sip of Gatorade backwash in Cool Blue
And the dessert special is that enticing mixture of crumbs, birthday cake remnants, and frosting scraped off a grocery store sheet cake tray, devoured with your finger in the kitchen after the guests have left and the kids are finally asleep. This is the sweet reward for all your hard work.
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Summary
Navigating the culinary landscape of parenthood is an adventure filled with unexpected and often unappealing dining experiences. From bizarre appetizers to questionable entrées and delightful desserts, the Mom Menu offers a unique glimpse into the life of a toddler mom.
Keyphrase: Toddler Parenting Cuisine
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