Signs You Should Consider Couples Counseling

Coupledom: 4 Signs It Might Be Time for Couples Therapy

Many couples wait until a significant crisis arises before seeking help. However, it’s wise to consider therapy when you notice these subtle warning signs.

By Jessica L. Hartfield
Updated: February 20, 2024
Originally Published: March 10, 2022

While the love you share has led to children, the challenges of parenting can strain your relationship like few other things can. It’s a long journey, and to strengthen your bond, you might want to explore couples counseling.

Taking care of your relationship is not an extreme measure. Think of it like a race car that needs a pit stop; if you don’t take a break, you risk losing control. Delaying this can lead to bigger problems down the road.

Several factors can prevent couples from seeking help. One significant hurdle is the awkward moment when one partner needs to suggest, “Perhaps we should see someone.” But remember, it’s not unusual—most couples will have seen a therapist by the time their kids reach high school. Finding the right professional has become easier with the rise of virtual counseling, and while costs can be a concern, investing in your relationship is often far more affordable than separation.

Assuming there hasn’t been a major incident—no one has threatened to leave, and no infidelity has been uncovered—here are some signs that your relationship could benefit from a tune-up:

Your Intimacy is Declining.
While it’s easy to attribute a decrease in sexual activity to parenting, Raquel Martinez, a licensed therapist in Brooklyn, notes that even childless couples experience this. “Intimacy is a form of communication,” she explains, and over time, this communication can falter. A therapist can help address underlying issues, such as unspoken resentments or hesitations that may be dampening your connection.
Communication Has Diminished.
It’s not always about fighting; sometimes couples simply stop engaging in meaningful conversations beyond daily logistics. A therapist can help break this cycle and encourage open dialogue. Often, one partner fears bringing up certain topics, worrying it might ignite conflict. A skilled therapist provides a safe environment for these discussions to occur. “They facilitate meaningful conversations that may feel risky at home,” says Martinez.
Familiar Arguments Repeat Themselves.
If you find yourselves rehashing the same conflicts, it often indicates unresolved feelings of shame, anger, or disappointment. A therapist can assist in identifying the root causes of these recurring disputes, helping you both to move towards resolution.
You’re Daydreaming About Emotional Connections Elsewhere.
If you find yourself eager to share good news with someone other than your partner—especially with someone who excites you—it might be time to reflect on your relationship’s current state. This could be a signal that couples counseling could help you reconnect with your significant other.

In conclusion, while you may have thought that maintaining a relationship would be effortless, the reality of parenthood often reveals that some effort is necessary. Embrace the journey of growth together.

For more insights on enhancing your relationship, consider checking out our post about the benefits of a home insemination kit. This resource can also be valuable for those interested in fertility options.

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Summary:

Recognizing the signs that your relationship may need attention can prevent small issues from escalating into major conflicts. If intimacy has waned, communication has stalled, arguments feel repetitive, or you’re fantasizing about emotional connections outside your relationship, it might be time to seek couples counseling. Consider reaching out to a therapist to help facilitate a healthier dialogue and strengthen your bond.

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