The Day I Turned to ‘Daniel Tiger’ for My Own Frustration

What happened when I applied parenting techniques to myself.

Written by Sarah Thompson
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: March 9, 2022

A few days ago, after juggling work tasks, preparing dinner, repeatedly picking up the same socks, and witnessing my lovingly made spaghetti being swirled around the dining room table, I found myself humming a tune I first heard on “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.” The main character of this PBS Kids show often navigates his fears through catchy songs. One particularly jazzy number advises, “when you’re feeling mad and you want to roar, just take a deep breath, and count to four, 1, 2, 3, 4.”

I’m not sure what prompted me to sing this song, but perhaps it was the recent episode we watched. In that frustrating moment, it was the first thing that came to mind. Singing a children’s song to myself felt odd, but surprisingly, it worked and I felt a wave of calm wash over me.

I soon realized that during stressful or anger-inducing moments, I was employing several techniques I had tried to instill in my children for managing their feelings. Typically, when my son gets upset, we practice strategies I’ve gathered from various parenting resources like books and podcasts. I usually explain these methods during calmer times, and while they don’t always resonate with him, it seems I’m learning the lessons myself.

These techniques for managing frustration have significantly impacted my mental health, self-care, and emotional regulation. Here’s how.

Understanding Myself Better

Identifying what triggers my frustration has been a journey. I often find myself in the “people pleasing” camp, but having kids forces me to confront my emotions head-on. For instance, one evening I raised my voice after asking my boys to hop into the bathtub for the fourth time. I’ve realized that being ignored, especially when transitioning from dinner to bedtime, really gets to me. I now recognize the need for about 15 minutes to unwind after the chaos of cooking, serving, and cleaning up. These moments of frustration have provided insights into my emotional triggers.

The Power of Deep Breathing

Many frustration management techniques focus on deep breathing and taking a step back. It sounds so basic, yet I can’t believe I haven’t embraced it more. Whether I’m in a tough conversation at work or having an off day, taking a break has proven to be mentally refreshing. (As the song suggests: “When you’re feeling mad and you want to roar, just take a deep breath, and count to four…”) I’ve started taking midday walks and making a point to disconnect from my phone for some quiet reflection. When I neglect these practices, I notice I’m less effective and more irritable.

Embracing Frustration for Growth

As parents, we often try to shield our children from negative emotions, but that isn’t always beneficial. Life is filled with challenges, and we can’t protect our kids from every disappointment. Experiencing frustration and learning to manage it is crucial for their emotional development. By facing uncomfortable feelings, I’m learning to better navigate my own emotional landscape.

Establishing Boundaries

The concept of “boundaries” is frequently discussed online for good reason. Children with low frustration tolerance need limits to understand that boundaries are part of life. I often feel frustrated when faced with “no,” “wait,” or other forms of gentle life discipline. As parents, it’s essential for us to respect our own boundaries and let our children help us learn that valuable lesson.

Ultimately, I’ve discovered that I’m gaining just as much from my children as I’m teaching them. The next time I find myself humming a tune from Daniel Tiger and taking deep breaths to regain my composure, I’ll remember that I’m setting a positive example for my boys, while also nurturing my own growth as a mother.

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Summary:

In a moment of frustration, I found myself singing a song from “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood,” which led me to realize I was inadvertently applying parenting techniques to myself. Through understanding my triggers, embracing deep breathing, and recognizing the importance of boundaries, I’ve found that these strategies not only help my children but also enhance my emotional well-being. The journey of parenting is a two-way street, where both kids and parents learn valuable lessons from each other.

Keyphrase: parenting techniques for emotional regulation

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