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It’s a well-known fact: children absorb everything around them like sponges. This includes the language they hear, the behaviors they observe, and the attitudes about what is deemed acceptable or not. Just because kids are young doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be aware of toxic behaviors they might encounter throughout their lives.
How many times have we heard the phrase, “Oh dear, they’re just being unkind because they want your attention”? Such justifications for toxic behavior may have been more acceptable in the past, but they’re outdated now. I recently spoke with Lila Chen, a therapist in California, who shared insights on helping our children cultivate healthy relationships. By nurturing their independence from an early age, we set the stage for them to develop strong, positive connections later on.
The Top Three Toxic Behaviors Your Kids Shouldn’t Accept
- Ignoring Their Boundaries
Let’s be honest—many of us are guilty of this. When saying goodbye to family, we might urge our kids to give hugs and kisses. While we view this as a loving gesture, the child may not feel the same way. “If a child feels uneasy about greeting adults physically, don’t force it. Forcing them sends the message that their comfort doesn’t matter,” Chen explains. Ignoring their intuition can lead to a lifetime of disregarding their own feelings in favor of what’s deemed “respectful.” - Mean Behavior = Affection
As adults, we wouldn’t assume that someone who teases us or makes hurtful comments does so out of affection, right? So why should we expect our kids to accept this notion? It’s time to change the narrative. Instead of dismissing another child’s unkindness as normal behavior, we should empower our children to reject such treatment. - Comments About Body Image
For some reason, society often feels entitled to comment on others’ bodies at will. We internalize this from an early age. “By avoiding comments about our kids’ bodies, we minimize the risk of sending harmful messages,” Chen notes. Complimenting a child for being slim or expressing concern about their weight can inadvertently convey that smaller bodies are better. Additionally, we often teach girls that their bodies take up too much space, which can create feelings of shame around existence itself.
Ultimately, as parents, we strive to do our best. But by discussing toxic behaviors with our children, we empower them to make choices that foster healthy friendships and relationships throughout their lives.
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Summary:
Children absorb behaviors and attitudes from their surroundings, making it crucial for them to recognize toxic behaviors early on. By understanding the importance of their boundaries, rejecting the idea that meanness equals affection, and being aware of body image discussions, kids can learn to foster healthier relationships throughout their lives.
Keyphrase: toxic behaviors kids should recognize
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