Please Don’t Judge My Parenting Based on My Child’s Behavior

My child may not behave like yours, and that’s okay. Is he a “bad” child? Absolutely not. Am I a “bad” parent? Definitely not.

By Jamie Collins

Have you ever been shopping and noticed a child acting out? It could be a toddler, a school-aged kid, or even a teenager. We’ve all witnessed such moments—and perhaps questioned them. Why are they behaving this way? Where did they learn it? What’s going on with their parents? You might have even found yourself judging a few parents along the way. But is that really fair?

As a parent of a neurodivergent child, I know that my child’s behavior may not align with societal norms. He can be impulsive, angry, and frequently acts on his emotions. While some days are smooth sailing, others can feel like an uphill battle. At times, I find myself in heated exchanges with him. He might disrespect me, argue, or even throw objects around the house. While these moments are often private, they have occurred in public settings too.

Being neurodivergent means my child has diagnoses of ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). These are legitimate medical conditions, yet strangers often don’t see that. They witness a scene at the store—like him yelling because I refused to buy him a toy—and assume it reflects poor parenting. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

I am a dedicated mother. I’ve loved and cared for my children since their birth. My parenting approach has adapted to meet the unique needs of my child. I don’t let him dictate the terms; rather, I utilize strategies taught to me by professionals. Unfortunately, these methods may go unnoticed by the average observer.

When I step away during an argument, it’s not a sign of defeat; it’s a deliberate choice based on what we’ve learned. You don’t know the challenges we face or those of other parents. There’s no need for anyone to justify their parenting decisions. Each parent is doing their best with the circumstances they’ve been given.

You never know the struggles someone else is facing. Let’s extend a little kindness and understanding to one another. When you see a parent in distress, consider offering a smile or a word of encouragement. Those small gestures can make an enormous difference.

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In conclusion, let’s foster an environment of empathy and support among parents. We’re all navigating our unique journeys, and a little kindness can go a long way.

Keyphrase: Parenting Neurodivergent Children

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