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As mothers, we often find ourselves in need of certain qualities in our friendships, especially during these challenging times. First and foremost, we crave understanding. It’s crucial for us and our friends to recognize that our lives have dramatically changed. If we have to cancel plans or alter our commitments, it should never be taken personally.
Adding a global pandemic to our already busy lives, where we often shoulder the bulk of emotional labor, means we need friends who are supportive but also give us space. It’s important to accept that your mom friends may occasionally vanish. There will be weeks when they are so overwhelmed that they can hardly recall their own names, let alone respond to a text. If they leave you on “read,” it’s likely because they finally found a moment alone—perhaps in the bathroom—saw your message, began to reply, and then got interrupted.
In these brief moments of distraction, they still think of you and care deeply. Many of us require alone time to process everything happening around us. The demands of daily life have intensified, and it’s perfectly okay to step away to recharge.
We also need to be okay with a little (or a lot) of venting. These times are incredibly tough for many moms. Our children are readjusting to school routines only for many institutions to close again. COVID-19 case numbers are rising, and uncertainty looms over our future. Even if some of us aren’t facing financial struggles or have supportive partners, this period is universally challenging. It’s essential for our mental health to express our frustrations. We want to feel heard and validated, and sharing our struggles doesn’t negate our gratitude for the good in our lives.
Let’s also move away from toxic positivity. Telling someone to simply “snap out of it” is unhelpful. Everyone is grappling with their own challenges, and shaming someone for not being their usual self is counterproductive. There are times when listening is more valuable than offering advice.
Now more than ever, we need our mom friends. As the landscape of motherhood evolves, so do our needs in friendship. Let’s practice patience with one another.
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Summary:
In these unprecedented times, the qualities we look for in mom friends have shifted. We need understanding, space for personal time, and the freedom to vent without judgment. Let’s be patient and supportive, recognizing that we’re all facing unique challenges.
Keyphrase: Mom friends during COVID
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