40s Are the New 20s — But Not for the Reasons You Think

pregnant woman throwing toddler in the air sitting by a tree

It’s a common saying these days: 50 is the new 40, 40 is the new 30, and so on. The notion that aging is different now than it was for previous generations is almost cliché. We often hear how our current generation feels more vibrant and youthful compared to those before us, right? Well… not exactly.

While I genuinely believe that being in your 40s can feel like being in your 20s, it’s not for the reasons you might assume. I certainly don’t feel more youthful or trendier than I did when I was in my 20s. In fact, I’m not even sure if “trendy” is a word that’s still in vogue (aside from its relevance to fashion).

Yet, here I am, comfortably in my 40s, and in many respects, my feelings echo those of my early 20s. It’s not about feeling youthful or free-spirited or clinging to the clothes I wore back then. Instead, it’s that familiar blend of confusion and excitement, tinged with that same sense of angst I experienced two decades ago. I still have little patience for nonsense of any kind.

In my 20s, there was a phase when I felt the need to conform. Today, that desire has faded. I’m a grown woman, and I’m not interested in anyone’s games.

Like in my 20s, I find myself straddling the line between various life stages. Back then, it was about transitioning from school to a grown-up job; now, it’s about shifting careers and navigating the complexities of parenting. Gone are the days of managing toddler tantrums and nap schedules. Now, I’m faced with the challenges of late-night discussions about relationships and the pressures of social media, all while trying to keep my teenager from making poor choices or struggling academically.

Even amidst the uncertainty ahead, I catch glimpses of that same youthful confidence I had in my 20s. Back then, it was born out of naivety; now, it springs from experience, empathy, and resilience. While I may not feel entirely secure in the world around me, I’ve developed a solid confidence in myself.

However, lurking beneath that surface-level assurance is an unsettling confusion reminiscent of my mid-20s. Despite the façade of having it all figured out, I often feel like everyone else knows what they’re doing while I’m still trying to figure it out. I find myself wrestling with questions about my parenting, my purpose, and my happiness.

This sense of confusion is exacerbated by the many demands on our time — work, kids, aging relatives, friendships, and marriage. Do others feel like they’re failing at everything? Are they equally confused and exhausted?

In my 20s, I buried these questions beneath the weight of a demanding job and social outings. Now, I find myself avoiding them with work commitments, family needs, social media, and binge-watching shows. But the confusion and loneliness persist.

Being in my 40s also means having little tolerance for nonsense. Yet, this intolerance highlights just how rampant it is everywhere. While my youthful ideals may have faded, I maintain high expectations and a lower tolerance for disappointment, often leading to frustration — whether it’s about societal issues or personal interactions.

So yes, 40 is the new 20. This decade is marked by transitions and change, just like our 20s. It’s filled with a new kind of confidence, a mixture of confusion and optimism, and an impatience for nonsense, all echoing the sentiments of our earlier years. And yes, I still hold on to that old concert t-shirt from back in the day.

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In summary, while turning 40 can feel reminiscent of being in your 20s, the experiences and challenges are distinct, marked by greater self-awareness and a deeper understanding of life’s complexities. The journey from youthful enthusiasm to seasoned confidence is filled with both excitement and uncertainty, making this decade a unique chapter in our lives.

Keyphrase: 40 is the new 20

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