artificial insemination syringe
My 5-year-old—my final little one—has decided he prefers to sleep in the room he shares with his three siblings and dad, and I’m feeling a bit down about it.
I mean, I understand. I can’t tell him the engaging bedtime stories his dad does. Instead, I resort to playing soothing meditation stories and lullabies on YouTube to coax him to sleep since it’s well past 10 p.m. Surely, I’m not asking for too much! The other kids have their hour-long banter before they finally drift off, and yes, it’s cozy and fun, plus my husband is more entertaining and serves as a human heater. But still!
I’ve been trying to sneak him back to bed with me in the middle of the night, but by morning, he wakes up furious, muttering “I hate Mama” over and over. It’s kind of adorably funny, and while my feelings aren’t exactly hurt, maybe they would be if I paid more attention to them.
Don’t even think about suggesting that my husband come back to bed. A few months ago, he asked when he could return to our bedroom—not for intimacy, but for sleep—and I told him never. Our 10-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son would definitely oppose, and even our 12-year-old might back them up. Besides, our king-sized bed is already cramped with just me and my 5-year-old.
Everyone knows that co-sleeping with a small child means they hog 97% of the bed with their sprawling limbs and countless stuffed animals, leaving you precariously hanging on the edge of a mattress you invested good money in.
There’s no room for you, dear husband! Your large frame makes the bed too warm, and your snoring disrupts everything! The space is taken!
I miss my cuddly little one who sleep talks and thrashes about, occasionally delivering a gentle punch to my face with his tiny hands and feet.
And no, it’s not merely selfishness on my part. I genuinely want him to bond with his older siblings and create shared memories through silly bedtime stories. That’s why I let him fall asleep with them!
However, being only five, he requires more sleep than they do. They wake up much earlier and are often noisy (we homeschool), which can be problematic when they need the room for online classes. Who wants to deal with a perpetually sleep-deprived 5-year-old? Exactly—no one!
My 5-year-old insists he can still sleep with his siblings, which is true, but he definitely gets more rest when he’s with me. And honestly, it’s not just about wanting to smell his sweet baby head or kiss his chubby cheeks—though he wouldn’t allow that when he’s awake unless I bribe him! I’ll miss those little face thwacks.
While the older kids love having their baby brother with them, they also don’t enjoy sharing a bed with him for the same reasons I do. He takes up a lot of space, and apparently, my 12-year-old complained about not sleeping well at all. I just smiled and thought, “Oh, what a shame.”
The only solution? Have another baby!
Okay, that’s not entirely true. I don’t particularly want to, considering I already have four kids, and it would only delay my personal goals by another 2-3 years. I’ve just started reclaiming a semblance of my life, and then the pandemic hit. It would be foolish to get pregnant on a whim just because babies are cute and cuddly. But I seldom think about the long-term consequences—after all, babies become toddlers, and toddlers grow into sassy 5-year-olds who leave me alone in my big king-sized bed.
Don’t mind me—I’ve just got something in my eye!
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Summary:
As my youngest child transitions to sleeping with his siblings instead of me, I find myself grappling with mixed emotions. While I understand the need for him to bond with his older siblings, I can’t help but miss our snug nighttime routine. The bed feels emptier, and I’m left reminiscing about the little thwacks and cuddles that once filled my evenings. Though the idea of having another baby crosses my mind, I recognize that it might not be the best choice right now.
Keyphrase: My Last Baby Doesn’t Want to Co-Sleep
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