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As the toll of COVID-19 approaches 800,000 American lives lost, countless relationships have abruptly ended, leaving behind a profound sense of emptiness for many. Among those affected are over 140,000 children who have lost a parent, custodial grandparent, or a caregiver who once provided them with love, security, and daily care. This staggering statistic translates to one child losing a parent or caregiver for every four COVID-19 deaths.
Given the significant number of children navigating grief this holiday season, we engaged with Dr. Lisa Montgomery, a leading expert in family therapy at Brightline, a virtual mental health platform aimed at supporting families, to explore effective ways to assist grieving children during this time.
Recognize the Signs of Grief
Recognizing grief is a crucial initial step in supporting children. However, understanding how grief manifests can be challenging. Children often display their emotions differently than adults. For instance, toddlers may express confusion, repeatedly asking about the deceased, while school-aged children might show a range of emotions from sadness to anger. Tweens and teens may appear composed but need encouragement to express their feelings. Dr. Montgomery emphasizes the importance of identifying and naming grief, as this can significantly aid children in processing their emotions.
Validate Their Feelings
When a child is grieving, it’s common to want to alleviate their pain with phrases like “don’t be sad” or “they’re in a better place.” Unfortunately, these statements can invalidate their feelings. Instead, Dr. Montgomery suggests that caregivers should affirm their emotions, reassuring them that it’s normal to feel sad and that these feelings will not last forever.
Empower Children in Holiday Traditions
Holidays can heighten feelings of grief for both adults and children. To best support grieving children, allow them to take the lead in holiday decisions. They should feel free to choose whether to celebrate, continue past traditions, or create new ones. Dr. Montgomery notes that while stability is important, it’s perfectly acceptable for children to opt out of activities that feel overwhelming for them. If siblings have differing preferences, it’s essential to acknowledge and respect each child’s feelings.
Prioritize Your Own Well-Being
Supporting a grieving child can be an emotionally demanding task. Many caregivers may also be mourning their own losses. It’s vital to recognize your limitations and seek resources for yourself. Dr. Montgomery reminds parents that showing their own emotions can provide valuable lessons in healthy coping strategies and resilience for children.
When to Seek Professional Help
While caregivers play a vital role in assisting children through grief, some may require additional support. Grief is a complex journey that varies in intensity over time. If a child’s grief appears persistent or severe, or if they frequently express a desire to reunite with the deceased, it may be time to consult a mental health professional. Additionally, if a child shows signs of suicidal thoughts, it’s crucial to take these statements seriously and seek help immediately.
As caregivers, we can intentionally support our children this holiday season by being mindful, open-hearted, and ready to embrace their grief’s many facets. For more insights, check out this related post on Home Insemination Kit or learn about boosting fertility with supplements from Make a Mom, a respected resource on this topic. For further information on pregnancy and home insemination, Healthline also offers an excellent overview.
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Summary:
The holiday season can be particularly challenging for children experiencing grief, especially in light of the significant losses due to COVID-19. Understanding how grief presents in children, validating their emotions, allowing them to guide holiday traditions, and taking care of oneself are key strategies for caregivers. Professional help should be sought if a child’s grief seems prolonged or severe.
Keyphrase: Supporting grieving children during holidays
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