My Children Don’t Have Godparents – But How Significant Are They, Really?

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As American religious beliefs shift, so has the concept of godparenting. What was once seen as a religious duty has transformed into a more secular role focused on emotional support.

Having been raised in a Catholic environment, I had a godparent, yet I never perceived their role as particularly spiritual. Now, as a member of the Unitarian Universalist community, my children do not have godparents. Instead, they participated in a Child Dedication Ceremony, where parents and the congregation come together to pledge their support for the child.

Occasionally, my children have inquired about why they lack godparents. My partner and I have clarified that certain religions assign godparents as significant adults in a child’s life, but our faith does not. We aim to foster those connections with a diverse group of individuals—not for religious reasons, but for personal ones.

Historically, the role of a godparent wasn’t purely religious. Bernadette Thompson, a postdoctoral researcher in adult religious education at a university in Dublin, shared with The Atlantic that the position of godparent once carried more social importance than spiritual significance. It was often viewed as a mark of prestige, indicating that one was a valued friend of the parents or a well-respected member of the community. Thompson also pointed out that sometimes godparents were chosen for pragmatic reasons, such as being family rivals or business associates, to mend fences or enhance professional ties.

“I prefer the term ‘guide parent,’” said Jamie Richards, a humanist chaplain at a prestigious university. “Many parents seek someone they respect and love to play a pivotal role in their child’s life … It effectively provides the child with an additional role model.”

This isn’t to suggest that godparents can’t play a significant role in a child’s upbringing. In fact, my partner and I are godparents to one of our nephews. However, the bond we’ve cultivated with him is rooted in our desire to be supportive guides in his life, rather than any religious obligation. This perspective resonates with many others as well.

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Summary

The role of godparents has evolved from a primarily religious designation to one that emphasizes social support and guidance. While my children do not have godparents, we encourage meaningful relationships with a variety of adults in their lives, reflecting a shift towards personal connections over religious formalities.

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