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As both a music teacher and a parent, I understand the struggles of encouraging children to practice instruments. I’ve been in the position of having a child resist practicing the violin, and I pushed him to do it anyway, which didn’t end well. I also taught a student whose parents insisted on lessons despite the child’s lack of interest.
In hindsight, I shouldn’t have introduced my son to the violin at age seven. He was too restless, and our dynamics as teacher and student just didn’t click. After several months filled with frustration and tears, I let him stop. A year later, he wanted to learn guitar, so we got him one and enrolled him in lessons. Now, he’s been playing guitar for eight years and discovered he can play piano by ear too!
My daughter started piano at the same age but became disheartened after a few challenging performances. I allowed her to quit, and when she expressed interest in the violin, I began teaching her myself. Although she’s still not keen on solo performances, she’s now part of a local youth symphony.
As a violin instructor, I don’t take it personally when a child decides they no longer wish to learn. Forcing the issue often backfires, leading to resentment towards the instrument, their parents, and music in general. Whether it’s my own kids or one of the many private students I’ve taught over the years, I’ve learned that the best way to foster a love for music is to expose children to it and present lessons as an option. If they’re interested, they’ll pursue it themselves.
Forcing a child into lessons can create a challenging environment, often resulting in a distressed student who feels unheard. Learning an instrument is complex and requires genuine desire.
If you’re eager for your child to learn an instrument, consider these strategies to encourage their intrinsic motivation:
Highlight Music in Everyday Life
When watching a family movie, discuss the soundtrack and how the film would feel without it. Many people overlook music in films, but it plays a crucial role in setting the mood. Listen to various genres in the car, and invest in decent speakers to appreciate the nuances of different music styles. Just play the music; it doesn’t have to be complicated.
Provide Access to Instruments
Piano and guitar are among the easiest instruments to learn. You can often find them at affordable prices, especially if you look online. While a free piano may need the services of a mover and tuner, which can be costly, a good quality keyboard can also be engaging. Likewise, used guitars can be found cheaply, and with numerous online resources, kids can start learning on their own.
Encourage Live Music Experiences
Take your kids to local performances, like a small band at a community event. Many towns have vibrant music scenes. However, avoid stiff, classical concerts until they’re ready; young ones thrive in more dynamic settings.
Find a Compatible Teacher
Once your child shows interest, help them find a teacher. Look for someone who matches their enthusiasm. If they wish to play casually, find a laid-back instructor. It’s essential for both the teacher and student to connect well.
Use “When-Then” Language for Practice
Resistance to practice often stems from a desire to engage in other activities. Instead of framing practice as a chore, say something like, “Once you practice for 10 minutes, then you can go outside.” Start small and gradually increase practice times. Allow for some days off to give them a sense of control.
Celebrate Their Noise
If your child picks up an instrument, expect some noise! Even if it’s not pleasant to your ears, encourage them. Tell them you enjoy listening and ask them to play for you. One day, you’ll find yourself genuinely appreciating their music.
By nurturing their interests and providing opportunities without pressure, you can help your child develop their passion for music naturally.
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Summary
Encouraging a child to learn an instrument should be a gentle process that fosters intrinsic motivation rather than pressure. Create an environment rich in musical exposure, provide easy access to instruments, and celebrate their efforts to make learning enjoyable.
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