Why Boarding School Became Our Teenage Son's Best Option

This school year, we made the important decision to enroll our son in boarding school. After exploring three distinct institutions, we found one that truly aligns with his needs. This choice was not made lightly; it was essential for his social, academic, and spiritual growth. As dedicated parents, my partner and I actively advocate for our children, encouraging them to pursue fulfilling lives.

I used to view boarding school as a privilege reserved for the wealthy. It felt like an easy way for parents to sidestep their responsibilities by sending their children off to someone else. However, as the parent of a 10th grader who spends most of the week over an hour away from home, I’ve come to realize that boarding school is far from a cop-out; it’s a vital opportunity.

Currently, our son is one of the 35,000 students across the U.S. attending private institutions. We sought a more nurturing academic environment because we were dissatisfied with the support our son received at his local high school, especially since he has a 504 plan. We chose this particular school due to its strong academic and social support systems for neurodiverse students—our son is on the spectrum. We recognized that he would flourish in a community that prioritizes his educational, social, and emotional well-being.

Financially, boarding school is a stretch for us. We are fortunate to have secured a generous financial aid package; otherwise, this wouldn’t have been possible. We make sacrifices, such as cutting back on our grocery budget and exploring side jobs, to provide him with this opportunity despite the financial strain.

Both my partner and I work in fields that don’t offer substantial income—I’m involved with a nonprofit organization and my partner is a hospital chaplain. With two other children at home, our financial resources are limited, but we understand the importance of making sacrifices to benefit our son’s education. Isn’t that what parenthood is about?

When I mention that our son is attending boarding school, I often receive a mix of confusion and probing questions: “How did you arrive at that decision?” “What’s wrong with the local school?” “Is the financial aid sufficient?” “Does he want to be there?” Depending on the audience, I choose how to respond.

Fortunately, we have a supportive network of family and friends who recognize the value of a good education. With my partner’s background as a former teacher and my experience in school counseling, we identified the areas where our son needed extra help. The shift to remote learning during COVID allowed us to reassess and seek a more suitable academic and social environment for him. Now in 10th grade, he is making new friends and establishing an academic identity he can be proud of.

Communication with our son’s school has improved significantly. Initially, I worried about limited contact with teachers and staff, but I quickly learned that we receive multiple updates weekly about our son and school happenings. We even participated in a virtual meet-and-greet for parents of 10th graders. I’m in regular contact with my son’s roommate’s mom, and there’s ample support for both parents and students as we all navigate this transition.

Ultimately, we believe we made the right choice for our family. While opinions abound about our decision to have our son live away from home during the week, the academic and social benefits he receives make it worthwhile. We cherish the weekends we spend together, maintaining our family bonds. He still has responsibilities at home, like chores and socializing with friends.

We have not abandoned our son; we are simply two parents who have actively sought financial aid, researched scholarships, and engaged with other boarding school parents, all while making daily sacrifices for our three children.

Raising kids is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor. Each child has unique needs. It can be challenging, and sometimes you don’t realize the effectiveness of your choices until you see the results—like we did with boarding school. Our son has become more sociable and proactive about his academic journey. Just recently, he remarked, “This school is the right place for me.”

We wholeheartedly agree, and we’re committed to making this work.

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Summary

Our journey to boarding school for our teenage son was driven by a desire for better academic and social support. Despite financial constraints, we made sacrifices to provide him with this opportunity, and the positive changes in his life affirm our decision. Each child is unique, and finding the right educational fit can lead to remarkable growth and fulfillment.

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Why Boarding School Became Our Teenage Son’s Best Option

Summary