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When I received my daughter’s autism diagnosis, a medical professional remarked, “She’ll enjoy BBQs, but she won’t ever host one.” I was taken aback—she was just two! What if she didn’t even like BBQs? I wondered if they thought I couldn’t handle more helpful information or were trying to connect it to my life. All I absorbed was a list of limitations for my child that seemed to stretch into eternity. (Spoiler: she adores BBQs!)
As I walked hand-in-hand with my little girl from the developmental pediatrician’s office, she was immersed in the world around her, excitedly bouncing through the parking lot with her hair dancing in the wind. Meanwhile, I was consumed by a whirlwind of questions, doubts, and fears, feeling none of her joy as we headed home to our safe haven.
“What do I do now?” I thought. I had anticipated this moment, having noticed differences that led me down the rabbit hole of online searches—be cautious about where you end up during a late-night Google expedition, especially if you have undiagnosed ADHD.
Now, it was no longer a hypothetical situation; it was real. I understand it’s frightening to receive a diagnosis for your precious child. But why does this particular diagnosis evoke such fear? Because that’s the narrative that resonates with society. Fear is a potent motivator, but remember that we often fear what we don’t understand. If you’re new to this journey, I have some uplifting news for you: your child will be okay, and so will you.
Here’s a list I wish I had on that day—one that transforms the confusion swirling in your mind into practical, non-fear-inducing steps. This advice comes from someone who has been exactly where you are.
- Breathe. I know this sounds cliché, but it’s essential. The immediate response is often to dive into every therapy available. Instead, take a moment. Enjoy time at the park with your child, the one you love beyond measure. Prioritize love, because that’s where everything begins. Your child is still the same as before; the only difference now is your newfound understanding of how their brain operates.
- Seek Out Autistic Voices. Engaging with autistic adults has been one of the most impactful steps I’ve taken since my daughter’s diagnosis. I once thought autism only affected children, but autistic children grow into autistic adults. Many share their insights and experiences to support autistic kids and their families. When you enter these discussions, listen and learn; your child’s well-being comes first.
- Research Your Options. You may be inundated with therapy recommendations. Take a moment to evaluate what’s best for your child. Listen to autistic individuals who have experienced these therapies before committing. Remember, therapies that promise to make your child “normal” are not a silver bullet.
- Your Child is Not Broken. It’s crucial to ensure they know this and to believe it yourself. Imagine living life feeling fundamentally broken due to the perceptions of those around you. Create a home that is a safe haven where your child is fully loved and accepted for who they are. Understanding neurodiversity can help reduce stigma.
- Build Your Support Team. Be intentional about who you surround yourself with; their influence will shape your perceptions and interactions with your child. If you find yourself in groups that focus on negativity or limitations, seek out more supportive environments.
- Embrace the Journey. The overwhelming amount of information about autism can feel like drowning. Instead, let it rain down on you and dance in it. Gradually, you will begin to understand the patterns and culture of the autistic community. Learning is a journey; take it step by step.
- Understanding the Spectrum. Many wonder, “Where does your child fall on the spectrum?” It’s important to recognize that the spectrum is not a straight line. Understanding this can reshape how you perceive autism. Check out this enlightening comic by autistic artist Rebecca Burgess to grasp the spectrum better.
- Honor Your Child’s Identity. Notice how I use “autistic” rather than “has autism”? This distinction is known as identity-first language. The majority of the autistic community prefers this term, and as a parent, it’s essential to respect their choices.
- Adjust to Your New Normal. It’s completely acceptable for your family to do things differently. Let go of comparisons with others. Arbitrary milestones do not define worth; embrace your own timeline and let your child lead the way.
- Enjoy the Journey. Your child is perfect just as they are. Enjoy every moment without the pressure of meeting societal expectations.
This article was originally published on November 5, 2021.
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Search Queries:
- Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder
- Therapies for Autistic Children
- Supporting Neurodiverse Kids
- Parenting an Autistic Child
- Resources for Autism Awareness
In summary, receiving an autism diagnosis for your child can be overwhelming, but it also opens the door to understanding and growth. Embrace this new journey with love, seek out supportive voices, and remember that your child is not broken; they are uniquely themselves.
Keyphrase: Understanding Autism Diagnosis
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