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I recently watched the latest installment of my favorite horror series, and I have to say, it did not disappoint. I have a peculiar fondness for seeing the lead actors navigate eerie, haunted basements, their expressions perfectly encapsulated by a word I’ve coined: “bravefrightened.”
Bravefrightened (adj): Experiencing a mix of sheer terror and genuine courage.
While I enjoy a good horror tale, I must admit I have a complicated relationship with jump scares. Each exorcism scene triggers a physical response in me, resulting in muscle twitches and spasms. Yet, I can’t resist a captivating story about malevolent spirits.
You might be asking, “Jamie, why would you begin discussing your seizures with a nod to a movie that terrifies you?” The answer is straightforward: I’ve reached a point where I’m no longer afraid to confront the darkness, as living in my own body has often felt scarier than any film. In a way, I feel just as brave as the characters I admire.
Back in 2020, I was a new mom grappling with the challenges of raising two young children far from family support. The stress and isolation consumed me, and my recent diagnosis of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) from past trauma brought on feelings of shame and despair. Some days felt unbearable, leaving me questioning whether I would even make it through.
One evening, during a particularly intense episode, I collapsed in my family’s bathroom, knocking over my child’s training potty. As I laid there, overwhelmed by shame and confusion, I wondered what was happening to me.
These episodes of uncontrollable shaking became all too familiar, and I yearned for healing. Therapy, emergency rooms, and medication have all played crucial roles in my journey. After years of struggling, I finally received a diagnosis that explained my symptoms: in addition to CPTSD, I was living with Functional Neurological Disorder (FND), and my shaking episodes were identified as Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures (PNES).
Functional Neurological Disorder is a condition affecting how the nervous system functions, rather than being due to a structural issue like multiple sclerosis. This disorder often goes overlooked by the medical community, leading to stigma and disbelief in those experiencing it. Many individuals face challenges due to the lack of understanding about FND, often being told that their symptoms are “all in their head.”
Fortunately, awareness is growing, and there’s increasing recognition of FND as a serious condition that can coexist with trauma-based disorders like CPTSD. My journey has been complicated by both physical and emotional pain, stemming from deep-rooted trauma.
When I experience a non-epileptic seizure, I remain conscious and often struggle to articulate words. My limbs shake uncontrollably, and at times, I find it difficult to open my eyes. The most absurd symptom? A forced frown that can last for up to thirty minutes, resembling a famous actor in a comedic scene.
Living with CPTSD and FND can feel like being in an unending cycle of chaos, yet I remind myself that I didn’t ignite this turmoil. Tools like cold packs, medication, therapy, and even cannabis have helped fortify my resilience. It’s challenging, but I’ve learned to accept that it’s okay not to have everything figured out.
Despite the uncertainty surrounding my recovery, I am determined to heal and share my story with fellow trauma survivors. No one should endure these challenges alone. And so, I continue to confront the turmoil in my life with courage and compassion.
For more insights on navigating trauma and home insemination options, check out this related post on Home Insemination Kit or explore Cryobaby’s home insemination kit for authoritative guidance.
Search Queries:
- What are the symptoms of non-epileptic seizures?
- How to cope with CPTSD?
- Is FND curable?
- Signs of trauma-related disorders
- Treatment options for Functional Neurological Disorder
In summary, my experiences with seizures, trauma, and the quest for healing have profoundly shaped my journey. I aim to foster understanding and support for others facing similar challenges.
Keyphrase: non-epileptic seizures
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