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It’s that time of year again—your friendly reminder to treat kids with kindness this Halloween. I get it; no one intends to be a Halloween grinch. Yet, every November 1st, I see parents share stories on social media about their children’s unfortunate encounters with adults who simply didn’t get it. Often, it’s kids with invisible special needs who face these hurdles.
This will be my first Halloween as a mom of three little trick-or-treaters, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. My kids are eight, five, and almost two, and they’re finally at an age where they can really enjoy the festivities. But along with my excitement, I also feel a bit of anxiety.
I have three children, but only one is likely to have a challenging experience with a less-than-friendly Halloween spirit. My eldest son is almost nine, a true rule-follower. He’ll patiently wait his turn, ring the doorbell, and cheerfully exclaim, “Trick or treat!” He’ll take one piece of candy, express gratitude, and happily move on.
My youngest, dressed as a swan or a princess, won’t really understand the concept, but she’ll bring joy with her giggles and adorable toddles, capturing hearts along the way.
It’s my middle child who adds a wild card element to the mix. At five years old, he’s incredibly bright and has a heart of gold. He shares everything, from candy to apples, with his siblings. However, he is also autistic. On most days, he’s laid-back and learning to communicate more effectively, but Halloween is different. The flashing lights, loud sounds, and bustling crowds can be overwhelming.
Despite his love for Halloween, it’s likely he won’t remember every little rule. He might not say “trick or treat” or “thank you.” His impulse control may falter; he could grab more than one piece of candy or freeze when faced with too much stimulation. We’ll be there to support him, ensuring he has the best experience possible.
We even arranged to go trick-or-treating in a friend’s neighborhood using their golf cart, giving our son a safe space to retreat if needed. We aim to help him understand what’s expected, but we won’t scold him for not acting like his neurotypical peers. He deserves to enjoy Halloween just like every other child.
If he encounters an adult who insists on strict rules or makes snide comments when he’s too shy to speak, it could lead to confusion and disappointment. He’ll be trying his hardest to participate, and if that means simply smiling and holding out his bag, that should be enough.
The truth is, many children you meet on Halloween may be neurodivergent, and you won’t know just by looking at them. Autism and other neurological differences don’t have a distinct appearance.
So, please don’t deny candy to kids who don’t say “trick or treat,” and don’t scold those who seem overly eager or shy. Just let it be a night of fun. All kids, whether they seem “normal” or not, deserve to enjoy Halloween without added pressure.
Ultimately, it’s one night a year. Hand out treats to everyone—whether they’re dressed in costume or not. And yes, if an adult dares to knock, why not offer them a treat too? It’s about fun and inclusivity. If you can’t embrace that spirit, maybe it’s best to keep your porch light off and stay inside.
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