Overcoming My Fear of Antidepressants: My Journey

pregnant woman in yellow flower dress holding her belly

After years of resistance, I finally decided to give antidepressants a try. Despite encouragement from my doctors, therapist, partner, and sister, I held off, hoping that I could just wait for things to improve on their own. But when I finally began taking an antidepressant in March, I was surprised by how much it helped. After a few weeks of adjusting my dosage timing, the changes were substantial enough that I regretted not starting sooner.

So, why did I hesitate for so long? Clearly, I wasn’t feeling like myself, and everyone around me had my best interests at heart. But when my doctor suggested a low-dose SSRI, I found myself in tears. What was causing my fear?

It was fear itself. Though I understood that psychiatric medications can be life-changing — they had saved my partner’s life — I was still apprehensive.

Concerns About Side Effects

When my doctor prescribed Fluoxetine, the list of potential side effects was daunting:

Impaired judgment and motor skills (be careful operating machinery!)
Sleep disturbances, including insomnia and unusual dreams
Headaches, dizziness, and drowsiness
Increased anxiety
Changes in appetite and weight
Dry mouth, sweating, and hot flashes
Mood or behavior changes, including panic attacks and suicidal thoughts

Naturally, I was scared. What if the medication changed my personality? What if it affected my relationship with my partner or my interactions with my kids? After a lifetime of confusion about my sexuality, I worried about losing the parts of myself I had just begun to embrace.

Then there was the superficial fear of weight gain. I had already gained 20 pounds in a year and a half, feeling trapped in a body that didn’t feel like mine. Would the medication exacerbate that feeling?

My Initial Experience on Antidepressants

Initially, I took my medication at night. Within days, I noticed that I either wasn’t dreaming or couldn’t remember my dreams — a significant change for someone who usually remembers them vividly. I also found myself waking up before my alarm, which was surprisingly refreshing.

However, I experienced an unsettling wave of anxiety in the mornings, often triggered by coffee. I decided to switch my medication to mid-morning after my cup of coffee, and the anxiety vanished. I began to remember my dreams again and noticed a resurgence of interest in activities I once loved, like cooking and socializing.

Looking back, I see that my fears were not just rational concerns but were intertwined with my anxiety and depression. It’s ironic how the very thing I needed help for prevented me from seeking treatment. Fear plays a significant role in anxiety and depression, making it difficult to take that crucial step toward help.

Fortunately, all of my fears turned out to be unfounded. Instead of feeling like a different person, I feel more like myself than I have in a long time. Everyone’s experience is unique, and while not everyone may have a quick positive outcome, help is available. If you’re feeling off, don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare provider. The chances are better that treatment will help you feel like yourself again rather than waiting for your depression to fade on its own.

For more insights, check out this post about home insemination. You can also learn more about couple’s fertility journey at Make a Mom, an authority on this topic. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.

Search Queries:

In summary, my journey into using antidepressants was fraught with fear and hesitation, but ultimately led to significant positive changes in my life. If you’re feeling unwell or not like yourself, know that support is available, and seeking help can lead to a much brighter outlook.

Keyphrase: Overcoming fear of antidepressants
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]